KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP FIGHTING

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“Don’t walk away when success is on the other side.”


For the past 6.5 years I have been writing my screenplays, with the hopes of securing an agent. Now that I have more of a handle on my writing, I want to pursue an agent in the year 2018. But what I don’t want to do is quit when I am so close to doing what it is I want to do in life. I always remember the quote from Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I have used this quote in other prior posts as well. And that feeling that so many people get when they stop pursuing and see others doing what they wanted to do. It hurts because it makes them realize how they might have been able to win if they stuck it out. But instead they ran away because it became far too tough to continue. And why do so many stop short of their dreams in life.

Usually people stop pursuing because they are getting older and older and start to see their lives slipping away from them. They are pumped about their dream job at 20 years old, then 25 comes and they’re still pumped. But once 30 years of age hits, they start to get that feeling of it hasn’t happened by now. That feeling that everyone else is going on in life without you, but you are still dragging along. I myself, am 30 years old pursuing screenwriting/filmmaking and as a novelist, but I work retail and as an usher. Most people I know have already gotten married and started having children. But me, I am single and have no children; and from the looks of things, I won’t be having children and dating anytime soon. And in a life that is long, why do we have these ways of seeing the world as over at such a young age? It’s because we are on a clock that society has stated you should be doing certain things by a certain age.

But then again, why should we be doing certain things? What if you’re like me and don’t want to get married or have children? You tend to look at society from a totally different standpoint. To you, life is long and you have years to focus on building a family. Yet to those living by the societal standard, they must be married by a certain point, have children, have a career. And the question states, why? There is no scientific proof of the world not spinning on its axis if you don’t live your life by certain standards. I’s because we want to be accepted, even if it’s at the cost of not being happy. We would much rather exist in a world where we’re unhappy and fit the societal standard than to be dangerous on the outside of it. And in the end, that’s why we fall short of our success. We want to satisfy others and not ourselves. We want to fit into a group not build on something we love. It’s a lot of group think in order to be with the pack. And people want the group acceptance.


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YOUR VISION NOT ANYONE ELSE’S: WHY THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU

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“Don’t expect them to believe in you.”


Someone I work with today was informing me that they have had enough and it was time to pursue their purpose. They were about the quite work and embark on their journey to their own personal greatness. It struck me as odd because this was a person who worked a lot, but now they were quitting. But I am embarking on my own journey, and I don’t know what road it will take me down. And that’s when it hit me, I don’t know this person’s inner workings. Maybe they feel that they have it figured out and things are finally making sense inside of their heads. The pieces are starting to come together and everything is working out for the best. But what is it about the people who don’t see your vision? They can not see you past what you are in the moment, and it takes them longer. Sometimes they never turn around, and only live to see you falter.

The reason being is that they may now have passions of their own, or they might not want to see you above them. If you are working a dead-end job and someone is above you, why would they want to see you prevail in life. They might hate their job just as much as you hate yours, but at least they have the upper hand over you. What happens when you overshoot the runaway of what they expected. Your airplane was never supposed to have made it out of the gate. But you have managed to fly off the runway and into the sky. So much so that you are cruising at altitude while they are still at the terminal watching you soar in the air. And that is when it sinks into their head that they must try to say something, anything to get you to stop working.

Because if they give you the confidence to keep pushing, then what is there out here for them. And that’s when you learn that there are people who look at life in the scope of their failures is your success. If you doing so much and they are not where you are, then what does that say about them. So they have to bring you down a few pegs. But if your life is in so much of a wrecked place, do something about it. Don’t try to bring someone else down because you have not landed on your feet. You are not where you thought you would be by now, so in an attempt to not feel alone, you want to keep them where you are in life. This also falls into the whole crabs in a barrel mentality. You are fine by me, so long as we all are stuck in this one place together. And that’s when you have to make moves to separate yourself.

Because in the end, your personal growth is your growth. It’s not up to you to help another adult figure out their stuff in life. You are responsible for your own problems. So as you pursue your dreams, don’t listen to the crowd noise. Your main goal should be to try to tape into the minds of those that love and respect your vision. You are going to always have adversaries, that’s the nature of the game. Just as long as you meet your expectations, that’s all that truly matters.


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BOY YOU LOOK DIFFERENT: WHY OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TAKE FORM OVER TIME

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“I don’t look different, it’s called life.”


When I wake up in the morning and look at myself, I always think, “Man, I have not changed that much since high school. Yeah, sure I’m more mature and I have learned to be a lot more responsible. But my physical appearance is not that much different. Yet when I look at people from my past years so far in life, they bare a totally different look than what I remembered. Maybe it’s because the person got pregnant and had a child. In that case, you will take on a new form, especially your physique. Or maybe the person got into a terrible accident or was stricken with some type of illness. Then there are the people who say screw it and let themselves go. Almost like why bother trying to keep myself together. Well, I have a few reasons why they are unrecognizable; and I have already touched on a few.

When you are young, especially in high school, you care more about what other people think. You’re active, which means you have not got into a rut. You are not fed up with the world because you have not stepped into the world. Yet the moment you leave high school, you take on your own mindset. You begin to hang around different people and your life begins to move around. Yes, granted in the four years preceding high school, you still are to an extent stuck into the mind-frame of high school. But as you come through those years, you start to notice people becoming someone you can’t familiarize yourself with anymore. From the way they talk to how their bodies take form. Then college end and you really start to not notice the person you once knew. And like I said before, physically they become unrecognizable. And what happens that causes this physical reaction?

Children. that’s right children. I know people who have already had children, so keeping yourself together becomes not as important once you become a parent. Unless you have a certain means of finances, it becomes quite difficult to care for yourself. You’re feeding the children, chasing the children, making sure the children stay out of trouble. So days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, and slowly but surely, they give up. Now, to play devil’s advocate if I may, I don’t think people just give up. I don’t think people want to work as hard as we have to in the first place. It’s just that we use so much of our outer to attract others to us, then we become what we really want to be eventually. Keeping yourself looking a certain way is work that does not pay. And it has already been a job since high school. So you figure why bother now.

See, in the end, we would all like to stay looking young and fresh. But it’s such a tough time trying to keep ourselves. Me, I have not gained much weight since high school. I have not had a rough life since high school; sure I work harder, but physically, I’m still me. I guess it’s tough once you become an adult with a full time job. You’re doing this and doing that, running here and there; you sort of lose sight of physical aspects of life like your own appearance. And then you fall into this world-wind of who cares.


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THE HIGH COST OF NOTHING: WHY DOING SOMETHING IS WORTH MORE THAN DOING NOTHING

blackboard, board, chalk“I’m not guaranteed to succeed, so why try.”


At times you might figure, why bother trying to succeed in what it is you want to do in life. I should just get a day job and do that for life. There is no use trying to push toward something to only be let down in life. Yet if you don’t do anything with your life you will ultimately fail anyways. So why not push yourself to do well with the hopes of a successful outcome. And the main reason is that people don’t want to deal with the idea of failing. So we choose our paths in life that gives us the most safety. But safety and security is not necessarily the path that will lead to us being the best us. A safe secure life usually means lower to mid range pay and little to no time off of work.

And that is not a life so many people want, but wind-up having for themselves. And for the people that are willing to put the time into making themselves better, they generally are put into positions higher than those that don’t work at their future. And that’s another aspect of why people find it hard to work at their craft and play life safe. Putting the work into your future requires a lot of alone time to reflect and plan. Then you also have to take what you have planned and put it in motion. That’s where you see the difference between the people who can talk a good game, and those that actually go into the world and do. And the ones that do nothing, generally end up not doing anything in life. But what are some other reasons people tend to do nothing and play life safe or fail to succeed at anything.

In addition to the above reasons we choose to do nothing because of the outside influences. The people who say what you’re doing you’re not good enough. They are the ones that either don’t want you to succeed because they weren’t good enough; or they can’t bear to see anyone outshine them. So they try to knock you down to keep you from trying, and maybe succeeding at what they failed to accomplish. So with them as influences, you become in doubt, and soon give up on your ambitions. And this is when you make your fatal mistake. See, the end, it’s not about trying to impress the people around you. You are supposed to run your race in life. You also don’t want to not try out of fear of failure. Because the cost of doing something might overall be less costly than doing nothing at all.


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WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE: THE REALIZATION YOU’RE NO LONGER IN SCHOOL

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“I just finished, now what do I do?”


You have worked from elementary school, through middle school, and coming through high school. You worked tirelessly to plan for college, you get accepted, and get into college. You go through college, and might even go through grad school. But now that you have completed school, or at least your formidable education, what now. Today, I am seeing so many students go back to school today. But what about the students who are no longer in school? What are they to do now? You graduated over the weekend, but there is no change to your life. You’re the same person you were before graduating. There is not this new physical form your body takes on now that you have graduated. What is the first move to make? What direction should you take in life? Are you sure you still want to do what you set out to do?

And that is when life sets in; you are on your own. You were told that the key to success in life is attaining a good education. But here you are Monday morning, working your job you once had, without anything special formulating in your life. Because for starters, attaining an education is more than just going to school. There is a lot of self-education in becoming successful in a career. Going to college alone is not enough to pull yourself up in life. You have to be willing to put yourself in the know of whatever it is you’re seeking to attain. I heard hip hop artist 50 Cent make a statement about school. He said, “If everything you needed to know about business were in those textbooks, the professor wouldn’t be teaching you.” “He’d be out generating wealth himself.” Now that’s not to say that the professor hates his job. It’s aiming at understanding taking full advantage of opportunities in front of you.

Basically what I am saying is that no one is going to teach you in society how to win. Why, well there isn’t a course you can teach, nor is there a conversation you can have, that is going to make you successful. It’s about working smart, consistent, planning, preparation, a little luck, and persistence. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, years of arduous and tedious work. It’s almost as if you have to kind of toss out some of the principles you were taught in school in regards to building a career. Because since it comes from your work ethic, there are things you can’t learn in school. There should be life courses in college that expose you to real world scenarios. Scenarios like real competition, failures, success, and building. But to the university, that is your job to build your own life, they just provide you with a basic template for life.

And in the end, that is the job of the collegiate institutions. Giving you the basics of what you have in store for you in life ahead. To you, you might think to yourself, $40,000 – $50,000 per  year does not sound basic. But that in itself is futile compared to the grand scheme of what life really cost. So to all who have graduated this year and are now in the real world, good luck grinding. Because there is no life book or class for the road ahead. Put yourself in the game, and take risk. Put yourself in harms way. (figuratively speaking)


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FIVE IN THE STREET: HOW TO PLAY LIFE WITH HAND YOU’RE DEALT

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“Just because you were born at the bottom, doesn’t mean you have to stay at the bottom.”


For myself, as with many like myself, I am starting my life from humble beginnings. And when I say humble beginnings, I mean growing up poor. My mother is what you would call the working poor. Where one missed day of work, one sick day could have placed her, my two sisters, and myself in a homeless shelter, or worse in the street. But does that mean our lives have to stay that way? No, it does not. Because living in America, we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. My two siblings are currently steadfast in their careers, and am actively pursuing my own path in life. So if you’ve been dealt a bad hand, how do you win with that hand?

Well, for starters, it comes by way of education. At a young age, my mother started to invest in our education. And when I say invest, she didn’t have money set aside for us as children. But she did make sure that the schools we went to were good enough and safe enough. She waited in lines to enroll us in school. She didn’t sleep in the bed and not make an effort to get us into a good school. She made it her mission, at times sacrificing her own well-being. Even though we were in public school, with my oldest sister attending private in high school, the schools were decent. The school wasn’t a place where all the kids were focused on being cool kids. You were encouraged to expand your mind past how you were being perceived by your peers. So you were able to focus on your education.

So now that education was taken care of, my mother cultivated a household where our minds could grow. At a young age she would take us to the library where we took part in various activities: reading, writing, and putting together puzzles (which was an activity I loved). We even had times on Friday nights when she would have long conversations with us about life. Little did I know those conversations and those weekend trips to the library were getting us prepared to deal in life. It taught me patients, hard work, persistence, and dedication. In addition, I also have to not forget those trips to the zoo and museums, where we were encouraged to have an open mind to many different cultures and experiences.

So now that my sisters and myself are adults we can pursue our own endeavors with the confidence needed up to this point to succeed. So what does all this have to do with winning with a bad hand; well, a lot. Everything that I was taught growing up, in combination with my own cultivated intellect, we have always been able to prosper. Now, everyone did not grow up in a household where their talents were nurtured. Some people have some very tough lives that are far beyond my life. But understand, that your story and my story is not unique. There is always someone that looks like you, and have come from where you have come from to succeed. So in the end, there is always going to be people dealt a bad hand. Some will overcome their struggle and others won’t. Sadly enough, that’s just some of the outcomes of life.


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FROM SUCCESS COMES GUILT: WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL DOWN ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS

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“I’m winning, but do I deserve it?”


You’re young, successful, and life couldn’t be any better. As a matter of fact, life is so good, you often feel like why are you coasting so easily. Now what’s interesting about that statement is that you built yourself to where you are in life. Yet when you look at your life, you have given so much to be where you’re at. Why are you feeling this weird sense of guilt, or undeserving feeling of you getting what you have today? It’s because when you see how the dynamics of how the world actually is built, you think to yourself, “How the hell did I get here?” But most of all, you’re seeing people around you work so hard, yet go nowhere.

Now, I also look at where you have come from as it pertains to your socioeconomic situation. If you grew up poor, and now you’re upper middle class, then you go back home and see poor people. People you know very well are hard working people. They’re not lazy, they’re not bulking the system, so why are they struggling and I am not? Why does it seem like money is coming to me so easily and they struggle to survive? You sit on the lakefront overlooking the landscape with your 5,000; 6,000; or 7,000 square foot house in the background. You look around and say to yourself, “Why me?”

But then you have to snap back to your senses and say, “Why not me?” Especially if you came from humble beginnings, you deserve to have what’s coming to you. But it’s sometimes more than just that in life. Sometimes, some of us are blessed with the ability to retain more knowledge, or just born with more knowledge. And that would mean you hit the genetic lottery. You are of the few that are able to use your mind to move yourself to another level. The things to some people that make no sense, flow through your mind perfectly. Now most would say, “Why don’t you share that knowledge?” And you do, hence, why you have so many people who struggle. Not because you shared your knowledge of success, but because how some of them receive the information.

You might share how you made it, and they ignore, or discredit what you’re saying. So it becomes tough to share with people sometimes because they have this disconnect that causing them to not want to accept the truth. Yet, you are of rational mind. So when two people of rational mind talk, yet only one can accept the rationale, then you have a disconnect. And in the end, that is why you shouldn’t feel hurt by where you are in life. Life is all about choices. Choices to listen, to work, to enjoy your life, and to part take in activities you shouldn’t do. And you should never feel like where you have come is some kind of mistake. Because there is always someone feeling and living worse off than you; so live life and enjoy.


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