THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING: WHY YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU

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“Your life: whatever comes of it is up to you.”


You want  something in life, you go for it. No one is going to give it to you and won’t care if you ever have it. So it’s your job to go into the world and make your own luck. Now, I could sit here and go through all the stories of how some people have it hard. Yet when it’s all said and done, everyone has something on their plate. And the world is just not interested in caring about whatever it is you’re going through in life. So where does that leave people who don’t have direction? It leaves them with their hands in the air. Because as an adult, you have to figure your life out.

Hey, easier said than done right? Well, in so many cases it’s actually wrong. I am in my late 20’s; actually I should just say thirty years of age by now. And I watch people my age go to the clubs and enjoy their lives. Yet I sit inside of a computer lab, typing away. Trying to come up with my next blog topic, my next screenplay idea, my next book, or my next anything that will make me a better writer. Meanwhile, so many guys my age do nothing. I don’t understand it, I just don’t. To me, my life is not moving as fast as I thought it would. So, in the moment, I feel like I am being just as unproductive as them. My life could turn out to be a dud just like the guy who sits around and does nothing.

And what’s scary, is that I could never achieve anything remotely close to the success I want in life. But that’s just life; there is no guarantee of making a living in society. I could put my life into my work and fail. But so many can’t stomach the idea of putting their all into something and it not pan out. They expect something to happen. They might ask, “How much time should I dedicate to doing this or that?” Or they’ll say, “So if I do everything you just said will it make me successful?” And real answer is, who knows. You have no clue what might transpire, but that’s actually what’s good about this roller coaster ride we call life. You might not even try that hard and win, or work your ass off and lose. There is no guarantee and no one owes you anything.

Because in the end, your life is whatever you make it. No one has to make things happen for you, that’s your job. Yes, there may be people who give you an opportunity along the way, but it’s not owed to you. You take it for what it’s worth and keep going. Because win or lose, your success in life will ultimately come down to how much you have prepared. And for those that haven’t prepared, it will show in their lives.


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MINDLESS MINDFRAME: HOW LEAVING YOUR SMALL TOWN MAY BE FOR THE BEST

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“When you think big and they think small.”


Do you come from a small city or town? Are the people where this place exist carry a certain mind frame that causes you to disconnect from them? Me myself, I come from one of these type of places. The city is a place you probably never heard of, and a population of only 78,000 people. A lot of the younger generation continues to still move away. And the population is still continuing to fall as time progress. Well, why is that? Why are the people leaving this seemingly quiet town. Well, first and foremost, the jobs have left. What was once a thriving Midwest manufacturing city has been reduced to vacant factory buildings. But another reason is because of the thought process of the people.

You probably ask, what makes it tough to live in some of these types of places. For starters, people have a hard time seeing past their current situation. To them, this is it, and there is nothing past this. And not just in a negative I am a failure way. But also in a manner where whatever is the well-known organization to work for, people flock to it like it’s working for Goldman Sachs. People walk around like this place to work for is the greatest and if you can’t get a job here, you must not be worth hiring. It’s like, “I’m a supervisor over at this place.” It’s about levels, as with anywhere else in society. Yet the level is not a real level. They are sharks in a pond, but when but in a bigger city, they become clown fish in the ocean. But what is another reason to leave your small city/town?

Another is how people look at the world as it pertains to the social landscape. I was walking down the street here in New York City, and a guy had on a baseball cap. The logo was of the Confederate Flag, and in addition he sported some sunglasses. And judging by the way he was carrying himself, he thought he was making a statement. Almost as if he wanted to say, “All these others are afraid to express themselves.” “But I’m going to be me in this overly liberal environment.” And sense the language is so sensitive, he thought people would react. Because he probably watched protest in NYC on television and figured he’d express himself. Yet no one told him on a daily basis that no one pays much attention to you. But his lack of knowledge made him look like a loser in his hat. Because he just watched TV like Fox News or CNN, and that’s how he based his perception of a liberal city.

Other reasons you have to make moves from these places is because few people have a sense of vision. People look at you and say, “No one from this small town is doing that.” And if you attempt, people will try to bring you down so you have to leave. They will be afraid of your progress surpassing them. And they think they know you because whatever family you came from as well. Kind of like, “Oh, that’s so and so’s kid.” “I been knowing his family, they up to no good, he must be as well.” So you have to go to a city where no one knows or think they know your family. This way you can start from scratch and represent yourself. And in the end, that’s the just of moving. There is a mind frame that people define as comfortable, which keeps them from growing and you as well if you stay. But lastly, don’t move elsewhere thinking your life will change. Because you have to think different yourself.


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NOT QUITE THERE YET: ARE YOU NOT IN THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE

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“The long arduous path that is success.”


Have you ever had the feeling like you’re not in the place you want to be in life? Like you should be or thought you would be a lot farther by this point? Well, I am about to turn thirty years of age and I am working toward a career as a writer. While working toward this career, I am working two part-time jobs. And that sounds fine when you are a twenty years old, but not when you are thirty. Because when you are thirty, you are supposed to be a certain place by this time. You should be on your way to finding your first starter home and thinking about children, not writing. But I am pursuing a career I love, rather than a job I have to go to everyday.

So here I sit, in this moment writing. And to cope with the long road to writing success, I try to observe those that started around my age. And you see they had their first success at about mid to late thirties. Now I gave myself a ten year time period to break in as a successful writer of screenplays, playwright, and novels; with a little lightweight film/theatre directing. Now that I have gotten myself out of the way, what are you pursuing that your life isn’t where you thought it would be? We have all these visions when we are children of the things we will do as adults. But when we become adults, everything is up in the air once you are in the world on your own.

And everything is really up in the air if you have no clue what you want to do with your life. You typically spend all your time working, then coming home and existing. So the days turn into weeks, then weeks to months, and months to years. And before you know it, life has past them by, and they have not attempted at anything in life. And that is the scary feeling people have of not quite being there yet. They even see people their age making life decisions, going in the right direction. Yet they are still not there themselves. So they find any reason to avoid people they know out of shame. Why, well because we always compare ourselves to people that are around our age.

But what happens once people younger than yourself start making moves in life beyond you. That’s when you really start to feel uncomfortable. Seeing a new younger generation making moves that you feel you have not made yet. And what’s crazy, that young age group will feel the same once they reach my age. See, in the end, we don’t want to live with the failures. But we also don’t want to live with the idea of people saying I told you so. Trying at something and constantly failing at it over and over again. But I remember reading a quote by Thomas Edison which stated, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” But the real question is, how do you know when you’re close?


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MAKING YOUR OWN LUCK: HOW YOU CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

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“You might have been dealt a bad hand; use in to your advantage.”


Some great advice for life, is that no matter what your economic, social, academic, ethnic, gender background, you can overcome a bad situation, At times we feel like all hope is lost for the future. But little do we know that we may be in a better position than we realize. Like me for example, I grew up below the poverty level in the United States. But does that mean I have to always be in that position in my life. You can tailor make life to move yourself out of your current situation. Problem is that most people have a hard time moving themselves out of their bad positions.

See, in earlier posts I talked about putting yourself in the know. And most people say, “What is the know?” “The know of what?” I say, “Whatever it is you’re attaining to have in this world.” So many people want something out of life, such as a paycheck. Yet they don’t quite understand what it is they have to do to get there. They’ll say,” I need a good paying job that makes good money.” That sentence has no clear meaning to it. You have to know what career interest, what title, what pay range, and what time it could potentially take to get there. And this requires having a certain level of self-awareness. Lacking an understanding of self will make it hard to navigate the know. Because you don’t know what you’re good at, if anything at all.

So what do you have to do, you have to test out different things in life. For me, I tried multiple things before I realized I wanted to be a writer. I said to myself, “Faheem, you’re going to be a doctor.” Then I realized I don’t have the patience to deal with patients. So next I said, “You’re going to be an attorney.” And envisioned myself in a court room standing before the judge and jury. Then I realized I could never get a guilty person off or send an innocent person to jail. My big break came when I said that I would go into the business field, which is broad. And it wasn’t until I went for my MBA I realized I wanted to be a writer. Initially it was not knowing what I was doing, if ever I would be successful, but I knew I loved it.

The more I wrote, the more I became comfortable with talking about myself. And I don’t mean being into myself. I mean debriefing information, and being more transparent than before in life. So what did I do, I realized I had something, and could make it into a career. So since the year 2013, I have been writing screenplays, blogging, and my books. So what does all this have to do with making my own luck? I am putting myself in the know by researching, and continuing to learn to write. Making those moves to understand the career for you and knowing what you’re good at it. And also knowing when to make appropriate adjustments to the things you write. Because you’re not going to know everything, especially in the initial stage, yet you have to develop a feel for when things are going right or wrong.

See, in the end, you can make your own luck. You just have to be willing to put yourself in a certain mind frame. And with that mind frame, you start to understand and develop a sense of self. Once you know yourself, you can pursue your career endeavor. This way, you’re being not vague about what it is you want. Sadly enough, a lot of people will never find what they’re good at in life.


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MY DAY JOB, YAWN: WHY DO PEOPLE LOOK FORWARD TO FRIDAY AND DREAD SUNDAY NIGHT

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“I wish I were anywhere else but here.”


5:30 am, the alarm blares, and you role out of bed. You go straight to the bathroom, and stare yourself in the mirror because you are about to start your day of work. But first, you have to get yourself clean; so you turn on the shower. Scrambling for a towel, you find one and hang it on the rack. bed, bedroom, breakfastYou’re still half asleep even with the illumination of the light. That’s until the hot water hit your body. And when you’re half sleep, you sometimes turn on the water too hot, or too cold. And that is a shock out of this world; either the feeling of being in an ice box, or immediate pain of scorching temperatures.

After your shower, and you get dressed, it’s time to leave the house. With one step outside, all you can think about is the end of the day. Isn’t that something, you’re not even off the premises of your house and already you feel disconnected from work. And arriving at work is no better because nowcommuter, commuting, late all you’re thinking about is the weekend. And that’s when it’s confirmed; you hate your day job. Because if come Monday you’re thinking of Friday, and Sunday night, you’re dreading Monday morning, your life is being wasted. But what else is there for people to do. If you’ve found your career of interest you love all seven days.

Now on the other hand, if you’re one of these people that hate what you do, everyday is a drag. Because the weekend is not even good enough. Saturdays are rest days, and Sunday is in preparation for Monday. So how do you have a life that you want? Or better yet, how do you find out what Man in White Shirt Using Macbook Proyou’re good at, to even pursue the life you want? So many people don’t even know what they’re good at to pursue. You hear so many people say I want a good paying job, but what’s a job. They always say they need a job they like, but what’s a job you like. Yet when you ask what’s a good job, they look at you like you’re supposed to know.

I would liken adults looking for better employment opportunities to a crying baby. The baby can’t communicate what is wrong, but is hurting for some reason. And they expect you to know, but they can’t communicate to you why they are hurting. Only problem with adults is that they can communicate what’s wrong. And what’s wrong is they don’t like what they Related imagedo for a living. They don’t know what they are good, don’t even know the job they want, but know they hate their current position. An impossible feat in my opinion regarding wanting something new. Why, well if you don’t have a skill or self-awareness, how do you move forward?

Knowing your skills, you can manipulate your life how you want it to pan out. But lacking skills is why people say they need new work, I hate my job, or I need a new job. And in the end, that’s the problem with so many people who hate what they do, and would like something else. They don’t have any skills, or they lack the necessary skills needed to have a better career. It’s almost like we all hold our breathe, hoping for something to come. And when nothing comes we ask why. It’s because you have to make your own luck in our society. Easier said than done.


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GENERATION FAST TRACK: HOW THIS NEW SOCIAL MEDIA ERA IS RUINING A GENERATION’S DRIVE

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“In a fast paced world, with long term success.”


Google, Yahoo, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, and way more. We are the generation that is used to instant gratification. You type it, it pops up in less than a few seconds. And if we just so happen to get a 15 second commercial clip we get antsy. And this behavior has to do with so Image result for social mediamuch moving so fast in today’s society. But when it comes to other areas of life, time seems to stand still. And there are two areas of interest where you don’t receive instant gratification: building a successful career and maintaining a successful monogamous relationship. These are two of the most important aspects of adulthood, and two of the hardest to tackle.

Yet, we struggle so much with the idea of having to build so long. Why does it take so long to build a career? For starters, initially, you’re building experience in the field of interest. Our generation wants someone to show us, kind of like working at a fast food restaurant. Then once we learn, we can start making Related imagethe big bucks. But it doesn’t quite work like that; you need more time. So you might think, what time, 6 months, 1 year? No, you should probably take close to 10 years of learning. And that’s when the onset of stress and depression set in. So much of your life is about in the now, that you hear 10 years and say to yourself, forget it. But 10 years is nothing when trying to build a career. As a matter of fact, I’m actually being nice when I say 10 years.

Nice! Yes, nice; it’s more like 15 to 20 years, maybe even close to 20. That’s why it’s best to start young and build. This way, hopefully, you’re still young by the time your career takes off. Then again, when you see someone young doing the things you want to do, you get discouraged. But you don’t know when they started. They could have started at age 19 years old, and are now Image result for GROWTH30/31 years old. We tend to look at the now, and say what you could have been. Don’t regret, you’re still young at 30 yourself, and you will be at 40 years of age. But so many see those who are what they could have been had they have started early.But now, they resent not working at what they want. Big mistake, you’re still young, start now.

But even with all I have written, what about relationships. With so many apps geared toward meeting someone and hoping up in just a matter of hours, no wonder good relationship are so hard to come by. How do we maintain a relationship when so much is based around a quick one hour encounter. But then you look at people who have been married for 25, 30, Related image40, 50, and some more years. And you ask yourself, “How did they make it that far?” Well, they made it that far because there was no rush when they first met. There was trial and error where people learned along the way. Now, there is no trial and error; if you screw up, you’re gone. Why, well there are more options today.

If the generations before us thought the way we do about relationships, I could only imagine what the state of relationships would look like today. There was a courting process in the past that involved not only you getting to know your partner, but the family you were marrying into. Now, it’s meet you today, sleep with you tomorrow, meet your family next week, marry a few months later, and then divorce five years after. Everything is so fast, yet Image result for goalswe want things to last long.We are way too impulsive in our society today. There is little thought that goes into our decisions that have long term effects. And in the end, the long term effects are what I am worried about. Will we wind-up hurting ourselves in the end? Will a generation become depressed and less driven because they are ill-prepared for the real world? Hopefully this is fear, and it dissipates as time goes on.


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THE KNOW: HOW POVERTY IS MORE OF A MIND FRAME THAN MONEY

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“Getting out, does not guarantee you’ll stay out.”


As a young man, I grew up under the poverty level here in the United States. Now, if you would have told me that at a young age, I would not have believed you. But once I became an adult, I decided to look back and research how much money my mother made on her job. And for a single
Related imageparent household making the income that my mother made, we were classified as an impoverished family. Yet, we always had food, clothing, and a roof over our heads. Little did I know, that my mother was one rainy day, one sick day, one bad break away from us being homeless. So is poverty about money alone or is it a mind frame?

I come from a family of poor people. And it’s generational poverty; whereas my mother and father were poor, their parents were poor, and so forth. As a matter of fact, my family on both mother and father side have been poor since slavery in America. So for well over 200 years of American history, we Related imagehave lived through poverty. Understandably so how we could have in the past given the historical accounts; both slavery and Jim Crow. And we can also point to other social-economic policies aimed at certain ethnic groups in certain communities. But that aim was mainly to aid White communities, and Black neighborhoods. Now, a large portion of White men and women are suffering.

So is it still about race, yes and no. I feel race can be used, yet it’s bigger than that today. The struggle is real and everyone is feeling it. So how, how do you bring yourself out of poverty? And my theory is that poverty is more than just not having money. It’s about knowing how money work and how Related imageyour money work. And that requires putting yourself in the know. And the know is whatever it is you’re seeking to accomplish in this world. For example, professional athletes make it financially out of poverty, yet their minds are still in poverty. So the majority of them wind-up broke after playing professional sports. Why, well because they don’t know anything about money.

Athletes are beneficiaries of the lottery effect , where they get overnight wealth. And lack of knowledge places them back into poverty. A lot of Americans don’t understand how, but more of them would do the same. Image result for lottoBecause it’s not only spending habits that land them back into poverty, it’s financial investors and managers mismanaging funds. So what about the American who does not get their start in sports/entertainment? Where do they look first when trying to overcome their struggle? And the tough question is, there is no one place to look. You have to adopt a certain mind frame for finding and making an income; as well as retaining a standard of living.

And in the end, that’s something that people cannot grasp hold of; the mind frame. You can’t teach it, and you can’t fully learn. You just have to have a mind that is built to understand how to put yourself in a know space. ThereRelated image will always be people giving you a blueprint. But you’re not supposed to just runaway with it, more so, you should be using it to build your own vision. Their blueprint is just a basic template to get you started. Yet people at times are even offset by the blueprint of another person. And often will reject you for offering the blueprint. Nonetheless, this getting out of poverty game is psychological. And if the mind is not right, neither will be your standard of living.


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