YOUR VISION NOT ANYONE ELSE’S: WHY THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU

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“Don’t expect them to believe in you.”


Someone I work with today was informing me that they have had enough and it was time to pursue their purpose. They were about the quite work and embark on their journey to their own personal greatness. It struck me as odd because this was a person who worked a lot, but now they were quitting. But I am embarking on my own journey, and I don’t know what road it will take me down. And that’s when it hit me, I don’t know this person’s inner workings. Maybe they feel that they have it figured out and things are finally making sense inside of their heads. The pieces are starting to come together and everything is working out for the best. But what is it about the people who don’t see your vision? They can not see you past what you are in the moment, and it takes them longer. Sometimes they never turn around, and only live to see you falter.

The reason being is that they may now have passions of their own, or they might not want to see you above them. If you are working a dead-end job and someone is above you, why would they want to see you prevail in life. They might hate their job just as much as you hate yours, but at least they have the upper hand over you. What happens when you overshoot the runaway of what they expected. Your airplane was never supposed to have made it out of the gate. But you have managed to fly off the runway and into the sky. So much so that you are cruising at altitude while they are still at the terminal watching you soar in the air. And that is when it sinks into their head that they must try to say something, anything to get you to stop working.

Because if they give you the confidence to keep pushing, then what is there out here for them. And that’s when you learn that there are people who look at life in the scope of their failures is your success. If you doing so much and they are not where you are, then what does that say about them. So they have to bring you down a few pegs. But if your life is in so much of a wrecked place, do something about it. Don’t try to bring someone else down because you have not landed on your feet. You are not where you thought you would be by now, so in an attempt to not feel alone, you want to keep them where you are in life. This also falls into the whole crabs in a barrel mentality. You are fine by me, so long as we all are stuck in this one place together. And that’s when you have to make moves to separate yourself.

Because in the end, your personal growth is your growth. It’s not up to you to help another adult figure out their stuff in life. You are responsible for your own problems. So as you pursue your dreams, don’t listen to the crowd noise. Your main goal should be to try to tape into the minds of those that love and respect your vision. You are going to always have adversaries, that’s the nature of the game. Just as long as you meet your expectations, that’s all that truly matters.


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CONQUERING FEAR THAT ISN’T FEAR AT ALL

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“Made up problems that really don’t exist.”


Failure to launch is the term we use for someone that has a hard time stepping into the world and being on their own. They do so because they either don’t have anything that they are passionate about, or don’t have any goals. And when you don’t have goals you just sit around hoping for things to fall into place. But as long as you’re not putting yourself into harms way, then things can’t happen to you. But the harms way is the main reason why so many people will not step into society. Now me on the other hand, I love the risk, I love the fear, I love the unknown. I have a short film I will be producing in less the 11 days, and have no clue how it will go. The project could flow, or I could run into multiple problems. My first short film I had problems, but it was a learning experience for my second one. But what is it about what I do that makes it so hard for so many others to do?

You see, growing up, my mother always kept my sisters and myself in the library and school. She made sure we were in academic environments, or some other environment where I had to get in the game of life. So I fear, but I still do anyways. And there is a reason for me not quitting out of fear. It’s because I have been prepped to step into the world knowing I will fall before I gain my Image result for mother silhouettefooting. My mother told her children growing up, “Struggle through your 20’s, to have a life you want afterward in your 30’s and so forth.” So for me, it’s second nature for me to attack in life. And my mother wasn’t some PhD or Master’s Degree holder. She only had a high school diploma, and nothing more than that. Yett she was willing to put herself in the know when it came to raising her children. And that know has made her children fearless to step into the world.

Now, as far as the people who fail to rise to the occasion, like I said earlier, they have these fears. What’s odd is that they are usually the extroverted people. The introverts always so much more successful in their careers. It’s odd because if the extroverts used that outgoing personality then they would be so much more successful. For some reason, they don’t see it that way. It’s for that
reason that extroverts I feel need an opposite to befriend or be in relationships with. And like the extroverts, introverts need someone who is more fearless in their pursuit of personal happiness. I grew upRelated image with so many people that if they put that extrovert personality to use they could be on a whole other level. But what is interesting is that they look at me and say, “How do you do that?” As if I have some sort of magical power. I don’t have any magic powers, it’s just that I fall and get up because I know falling is an aspect of life.

See, in the end, you should approach success like approaching hanging out with friends. The same way you network in your friendships, you network in your career endeavors. When you try meeting new people, do you give up when someone does not want to hang with you? No, you just hang around people that want to hang around you. It’s the same with success; you have to put yourself out there. And the reason they don’t is the fear: fear of what others think, fear of failing, and fear of having to continue to satisfy. But me, I want the risk, I love the unknown, I love the fear; it’s what makes me feel alive.


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DO BETTER; BETTER THAN WHAT: DON’T LET YOUR GOAL BE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM FOR YOU

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“Build yours or someone else’s.”


We all have these visions of the life we want. And for a lot of people, the dream is real. But what happens when you attain what you want, but then someone tries to make you feel like you should be doing more. They try to convince you that your life could be so much better. But if you allow them to invade your mind, then you can’t enjoy the satisfaction of what you initially wanted. And that’s what’s important; you living the best you that you can be. But why do people get in their minds that you should be doing what they want you to do? Part of it has to do with the idea that their opinion don’t matter and they want it to matter. And the other reason is to keep you from outshining them in what you do.

People want their opinions to matter. And when their opinions don’t matter, then you have to deal with their wrath. They get irritated at what you do, and feel that you should take their advice. They want you to be what they want you to be, and work how they feel you should be working. In their mind, they say, “Why isn’t this the way I like it.” And that has to do with the idea that people want you to succeed how they feel you should succeed. And when you’re doing things your way, outside the realm of what they think, then you’re breaking the rules. And rules is what they have been told to abide by. But the other reason people try to deter you from your dream is out of fear that you may surpass them.

The outshining aspect is, to a large degree, a big reason why people want you to take their cue. It will force you to grow at their pace. And it has a lot to do with the idea that if you make it quicker than it took them, then the road they took was for nothing. With that said, you have to do your best to remove yourself from these types of people.They are toxic and mean you no good. And not to mention these people will try to make you feel like you’re being disobedient by not listening to them. They’ll come up with every reason why you should be listening to them and not yourself. In the end, be able to distinguish those that are on your side from those that want you to fail. Follow your own drum beat, and don’t worry about others. You’ll make mistakes and hit a few roadblocks along the way, but hopefully you land on your feet.


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MAKING GOOD MONEY: HOW COME PEOPLE DON’T HAVE A MORE DECLARATIVE CAREER EXPLANATION

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“We all want it, but what is good money?”


Ever hear people who are either unemployed or looking for work while on a job say they want to make good money. What exactly is a good job or good money? We all have a different perspective on what that means, but no one can define it in an entirety. So when I hear people say they need a “job” making “good” money I pause. For me, I am currently pursuing my goals of becoming a successful writer (screenplays, playwrights, novels, and blogger), filmmaker, photographer, and podcaster. I would like to make at least $60,000 per year as a start to work for myself. I have given myself 10 years to break into my career as a writer/filmmaker. I am currently at year five almost six. And there you have it, a nice basic understanding for what my goals are in a career. But I always hear these very vague ideas of what it is that people want from life.

I said in an earlier post that adults who need jobs are like crying babies. You can’t communicate with a baby when it’s crying because the baby can’t talk. Only problem with adults is that we can talk. And unlike the baby where you have to give the baby milk, rock the baby, and do all these activities to guess the problem, it’s not the case with adults. A fully grown adult should know more than a baby their problem that is bothering them. And that is the problem with the I need a good paying job inquiry. What job? Paying what? What time period to get to that point? What is your level of expertise? Is this something you really enjoy doing? Do you have the stomach to build in your career choice? So many people don’t know the answers to any of these questions because they lack self-awareness. And that is the main problem.

Because when trying to look for employment, you have to first acknowledge the skills you possess. You can’t just say I need a job and expect people to know your skills. I know what I am good at in this world. It’s not my job to know your strengths and weaknesses. It’s not my job to give you a certain level of skills. Your job is to show me what it is you can do. That is what I mean by self awareness. By a certain age, you should have some level of degree to which you know your skills. That’s why the whole find a job, get a job is very vague. If I realized that my skill is writing, then I am going to pursue my writing career. If there are other skills I have, I’ll pursue those as well. You should pursue whatever you find that is a skill of yours that you not only love, but in the long term can make an income performing.

In the end, not having a firm understanding of who you are is going to be the defining outcome. If you don’t know what you are good at then who does. It’s your brain, you know what your mind wraps around. And if your mind does not wrap around the concept of anything, you’re not going to be hired even if someone was offering jobs. You should know to some degree what career title you want, income associated, and years to rise to another position. And it all comes together in knowing how to put yourself in the know of whatever it is you want to do in life.


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BREAKING FREE: MOVING AWAY TO GROW

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“Get away to grow up.”


In the year 2011, right after undergraduate school, I moved to New York City. Coming here for graduate school from Kenosha, Wisconsin was a new experience. You go from living on a rural campus to a major metropolitan hub. Yet graduate school wasn’t the only reason I decided to make the leap out on the East Coast. Another reason I chose to move to the East was because I needed to also be in a city where I could pursue my goals the best way I knew how to do so. And I also wanted to shape my identification. Growing up for me in a household where I was not only the only boy among siblings, but male in the house. And there are certain aspects of being a man that my mom and sisters don’t quite understand. So in my mind, it made perfect sense to create a whole new identity for myself and pursue my goals.

So I ask you, is there ever a moment in your life where feel you need to getaway to grow in life. Now don’t get me wrong, you are suppose to leave an environment in search of something better. Not run away from problems that you perceive to be external, but are really internal. Because internal problems only follow you wherever you go. I am referring to you having to leave because what the world has to offer you elsewhere is far too great to stay where you currently reside. And that could mean better schools, a better job, and overall better existence. For example, I come from a small city with a population of about 75,000 people. And now living in New York city, there are three to four times that many people in my Harlem neighborhood. So it has been a major leap in me getting acclimated to the city. But luckily for me, I have been here almost six years.

As for me taking the leap and living in a more open and conscious city, my mind has grown with it. So my writing has improved since leaving my small town. Now, does that mean I encourage everyone else to do the same; no. I just feel for me, the borough of Manhattan has an energy that inspires me to write everyday. Some days I will just walk around the high populated areas just to get in a mode and come back to the computer lab and write. So for you, a small town might be the place for you to push out the greatness that is inside of you. But moving away gives you a different perspective on how other people live their lives. You are given an open door into how others different from you think and feel. This may aid in your endeavors whatever they may be, to propel yourself forward in life.

In the end, moving away forces you to mature at a quicker rate than if you were at home. Because even  with a support system back home, you have to step up to the learning curve quick. For me, coming from small town Midwest and now in the Big Apple, you grow fast. If you don’t, you sink fast. The city will swallow you up and spit you out. And it is a true testament to how resilient you are in life.


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WHEN TALENT DOESN’T WORK HARD: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TALENT IS NOT CULTIVATED?

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“Step ya game up.”


Have you ever seen someone with so much talent. Yet they choose to squander it away? It does not matter if it’s them getting into trouble or being flat out lazy. You hate to see people with so much going for themselves and then they just throw it away. One reason is because you can almost start to get all these visions for who they could be if they actually put the time into making themselves better. And at times, you wish it were you who had all this talent because of what you could see yourself doing that is more. But it was not you who was born with such talent. It was them and now you must stand aside and see them throw it all away. And no matter what you say to them it’s always through one ear and out the other. Well, is there anything you can do to deter them from their path of destruction?

Yes, there are a few ways to get through to these types of people. One way is to explain to them how much they could achieve if they put the time into their work. Sometimes people need that verbal conversation to let them see the nature of their ways. And it’s that verbal conversation that could get them to say, “I never realized that I had that level of potential in my life.” And those words of encouragement as well as someone in their corner could be enough. And when you tell them, they might even know this already, but the fear of succeeding could be holding them back as well. Almost like they’re purposely acting stupid even though they are really smarter than everyone thinks of them. And when this happens, or if the verbal discussion does not resonate with them, you have to go to the next best solution. And that next best step is to show them the results of their work.

This typically works quite well when trying to convince someone of their abilities. You place them in environments where they can see where their hard work can get them. Meaning, if you see someone that is throwing it all away, find a way to expose them to the rewarding aspects of life. Find the things that they love the most, then show them that in which they love on a higher level if they focus on their skills. And this may be the kick they need to propel themselves forward. For example, luxury goods are tangibles that the slacker loves to visually indulge in, so you use that as a motivator. Show them what they are capable of, how in reach those tangibles are, and you could turn them around. Do you want them only motivated by money, no, but if desperate times call for desperate measures, you could use this to work in their favor.

In the end, it hurts so much to see people throw away what could potentially make them the next great leader in our society. The next great scientist, attorney, athlete, engineer, entertainer, CEO, politician, or educator. And a lot of times they don’t realize how good they could have been at something in life until it’s too late in life, or they find themselves in a predicament they can’t escape. Hopefully the majority of these greats find their way because it not only has negative effects on their own lives, but they also rob society of greatness as well.


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LOST IN A DAILY TRANCE: HOW WE WOULD RATHER DREAM THAN MAKE A MOVE ON THEM

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“A dream is nothing but a dream without plan and execution.”


The above photo is of Academy Award winning actor Jamie Foxx. The photography is from the movie Collateral where he co-starred opposite Tom Cruise. His character was a man who would drive people around in his taxi cab, and during his lunch breaks, gaze at luxury vehicles. His character had dreams of running his own car service of luxury vehicles. It would be an experience and not just a ride. That was his dream until he ran into Tom Cruise, who was a villain in the movie. Cruise’s villainous character, unlike Foxx, was a doer. And for obvious reasons he had to be because he was a hired hitman. So his career revolved around standing by his word to get the job done right. So what does all this have to do with the topic at hand? Well Tom Cruise made Foxx’s character realize something about himself.

Cruise’s character gave Foxx a big ultimatum regarding his dreams and expectations in the world. Cruise let him know that the in reality he was never going to do what he set out to done anyways. Foxx would be in a trance with day time television and then one day he’d die. Die, never accomplishing or even setting out to do what he said he wanted to do in the first place. And that is what this topic is about today, not setting out to accomplish goals. These are the dreamers, the people who would rather dream about what they want then to go get it. And like Jamie Foxx’s character who fancied himself with Mercedes Benz booklets of their latest fleet with hopes of starting his own car service, we look and gaze at the imagery. But the fear of failure keeps us from making a move. Yet we fail anyways in life when we do nothing.

Then again, it is all about fear in life? Sometimes we don’t know how to start what we want to do. For me, pursuing a writing was a little more clear than for most. I put myself in the know, and I am currently pursuing. I have been actively writing since the age of 25 years old. So now, with six years of writing under my belt, I have four more years to break into writing my screenplays, playwrights, and novels. But like I said, I have been writing, even putting together a short film and currently working on the production for my second. So putting yourself in position to work toward what you want is not a guarantee, but it is a step in the right direction. And that is the hardest part for people to stomach. Not the putting yourself into position; but more so, putting yourself in harms way to accomplish anything in life.

In the end, you don’t want to deal with the idea that you might set out to accomplish something and fail in life. But that’s part of the climb is to fail in life. You can’t attain success until you’ve stared into the eyes of failure. Because once you stare down failure the worst is behind you. Especially for those of us who had to climb to attain what we have in this world. You have no other choice but to take the road no one wants to travel. And it’s that road that makes you appreciate so much when you finally get to where you have to go.


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