KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF SUCCESS: WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP FIGHTING

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“Don’t walk away when success is on the other side.”


For the past 6.5 years I have been writing my screenplays, with the hopes of securing an agent. Now that I have more of a handle on my writing, I want to pursue an agent in the year 2018. But what I don’t want to do is quit when I am so close to doing what it is I want to do in life. I always remember the quote from Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” I have used this quote in other prior posts as well. And that feeling that so many people get when they stop pursuing and see others doing what they wanted to do. It hurts because it makes them realize how they might have been able to win if they stuck it out. But instead they ran away because it became far too tough to continue. And why do so many stop short of their dreams in life.

Usually people stop pursuing because they are getting older and older and start to see their lives slipping away from them. They are pumped about their dream job at 20 years old, then 25 comes and they’re still pumped. But once 30 years of age hits, they start to get that feeling of it hasn’t happened by now. That feeling that everyone else is going on in life without you, but you are still dragging along. I myself, am 30 years old pursuing screenwriting/filmmaking and as a novelist, but I work retail and as an usher. Most people I know have already gotten married and started having children. But me, I am single and have no children; and from the looks of things, I won’t be having children and dating anytime soon. And in a life that is long, why do we have these ways of seeing the world as over at such a young age? It’s because we are on a clock that society has stated you should be doing certain things by a certain age.

But then again, why should we be doing certain things? What if you’re like me and don’t want to get married or have children? You tend to look at society from a totally different standpoint. To you, life is long and you have years to focus on building a family. Yet to those living by the societal standard, they must be married by a certain point, have children, have a career. And the question states, why? There is no scientific proof of the world not spinning on its axis if you don’t live your life by certain standards. I’s because we want to be accepted, even if it’s at the cost of not being happy. We would much rather exist in a world where we’re unhappy and fit the societal standard than to be dangerous on the outside of it. And in the end, that’s why we fall short of our success. We want to satisfy others and not ourselves. We want to fit into a group not build on something we love. It’s a lot of group think in order to be with the pack. And people want the group acceptance.


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FIVE IN THE STREET: HOW TO PLAY LIFE WITH HAND YOU’RE DEALT

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“Just because you were born at the bottom, doesn’t mean you have to stay at the bottom.”


For myself, as with many like myself, I am starting my life from humble beginnings. And when I say humble beginnings, I mean growing up poor. My mother is what you would call the working poor. Where one missed day of work, one sick day could have placed her, my two sisters, and myself in a homeless shelter, or worse in the street. But does that mean our lives have to stay that way? No, it does not. Because living in America, we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. My two siblings are currently steadfast in their careers, and am actively pursuing my own path in life. So if you’ve been dealt a bad hand, how do you win with that hand?

Well, for starters, it comes by way of education. At a young age, my mother started to invest in our education. And when I say invest, she didn’t have money set aside for us as children. But she did make sure that the schools we went to were good enough and safe enough. She waited in lines to enroll us in school. She didn’t sleep in the bed and not make an effort to get us into a good school. She made it her mission, at times sacrificing her own well-being. Even though we were in public school, with my oldest sister attending private in high school, the schools were decent. The school wasn’t a place where all the kids were focused on being cool kids. You were encouraged to expand your mind past how you were being perceived by your peers. So you were able to focus on your education.

So now that education was taken care of, my mother cultivated a household where our minds could grow. At a young age she would take us to the library where we took part in various activities: reading, writing, and putting together puzzles (which was an activity I loved). We even had times on Friday nights when she would have long conversations with us about life. Little did I know those conversations and those weekend trips to the library were getting us prepared to deal in life. It taught me patients, hard work, persistence, and dedication. In addition, I also have to not forget those trips to the zoo and museums, where we were encouraged to have an open mind to many different cultures and experiences.

So now that my sisters and myself are adults we can pursue our own endeavors with the confidence needed up to this point to succeed. So what does all this have to do with winning with a bad hand; well, a lot. Everything that I was taught growing up, in combination with my own cultivated intellect, we have always been able to prosper. Now, everyone did not grow up in a household where their talents were nurtured. Some people have some very tough lives that are far beyond my life. But understand, that your story and my story is not unique. There is always someone that looks like you, and have come from where you have come from to succeed. So in the end, there is always going to be people dealt a bad hand. Some will overcome their struggle and others won’t. Sadly enough, that’s just some of the outcomes of life.


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THE NOW: WHY DON’T SOME RECOGNIZE THE GRIND

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“Put the work in, and you’ll understand how you get there.”


No matter who it is, whether in the public eye or some average man or woman, dealing with the downsides of success is real. And when I say the downsides, I am referring to the people who try to make you feel some sort of penalty because you’ve made something of yourself. The people who see what you do as trivial. Something that can be easily accomplished with just a few quick steps. But what they don’t know is that you’ve been cultivating your craft in whatever you’ve been doing for quite some time. Toiling for years while everyone else was living their lives. So was it about your come up that make some express disdain?

One of the reasons is that it further magnifies how much they have wasted their own lives. If you start working toward your goals at age 21 or 22, and become very financially set by the age of 30/31, they can’t understand. They stand on the side trying to piece together what it was that set you over the top. Almost like it was this one thing you did that made you pop in your career. Notice I said started at age 22 and now you’re 30, 31, or even 32 years action, active, activityof age. All that time in between was the struggle years. The years that while others were enjoying their youth in their twenties, you were working. And now they see you, and it sets in how much time they’ve spent just sitting around. Now it’s hard to get in the game because you now know what could have been if you just buckled down initially.

But see, there’s more, there’s more that goes into people not being able to understand the grind. Another reason has to do with the cognitive abilities of the person pursuing their goals. The average person’s IQ is around 110, so some have a hard time believing we have these people with a 150, 160, or Midsection of Man Holding Hands over White Backgroundeven 200 IQ. And that biological factor is ingrained in some people where their brain processes information differently. They are able to wrap their minds around mathematics, science, sociology, business, and any other facet of productivity in society. And explaining the way their brains work is tough because how do you really explain why your mind understands what it does. No one can wrap their mind around their mind. It’s that certain aspects of life make sense to them and they run with it.

Which leads me into my next reason why some people can’t recognize the grind. The idea of trying and failing is something that eludes them. I myself am a person that is able to take my failure in stride and move on to create better things. Some sit on the side and say what you shouldn’t do, but they’re only projecting their feelings on to you. They’re telling you don’t do it, take it from someone whose been down the road. But what they’re actually saying is it didn’t work for me and I’m smarter than you. So I know it won’t work for you. Your ability to do something further they can’t makes them feel mundane and unaccomplished. Your potential success makes them feel bitter from not achieving their own goals out of life.

In the end, as with the people who respect your come up there will be the ones downing your come up. Instead of taking the blueprint and using it as a basic template to build something for themselves, they find any reason to say how it won’t work. And you can’t get through to these people because achievement, adventure, bravethey are looking for someone to subscribe to their bullshit. But why would I subscribe to your ideology if it’s gotten you nowhere. So I say to all successful people or those embarking on your journey keep working. Like Denzel Washington stated in a speech he gave at the NAACP Image Awards. “Keeping moving, keep growing, keep learning: see you at work.”


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UNDERSTANDING YOUR PAST FOR A BETTER FUTURE

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“Moving toward the future, from understanding your past.”


Why do people find it so hard to move forward in their lives? One of the reasons is they have yet to come to terms with their past. And don’t get me wrong, your past does not automatically translate into future. But something that has happened in your past is a reason you make your decisions today. And if you are not able to understand this past, then how will you move forward. For instance, a woman might be trying to figure out why she has such bad experiences with men. Then she realizes she never had a relationship with her own father. And as the old saying goes, you link up with, as a man or woman, your previous relationship with a parent.

Now that’s an interesting concept; you wind-up with your parent. Because choosing a potential spouse is such a daunting task in itself. So who raises you from childhood to adulthood is crucial. Now, there is no guarantee that you’re going to have a great relationship if you’re raised with these great parents. But statistically, those raised in two parent households go off to have more successful marriages. And if you are having problems with your relationships or finding a successful relationship, look into your own life. Where in your life is there a link between you and your parent. You might also have been raised in good surroundings, but other aspects like controlling parents or not enough transparency didn’t prepare you for monogamy.

What about other aspects of your past that could affect your future. Issues that you have that keep you from advancing in your career. Very rarely have past performances that are poor, lead to future good performances. Unless, you recognize the past poor performances and correct them for the future. For instance, I am currently working on my next short film. My first one was ok, but there are some things I need to correct for my next one. If I am making the same mistakes, then I have not learned my lesson. So career choices in the future can haunt you if not curbed early on. But small things we tend to avoid, and later make those mistakes that effect in a much greater way years later.

Then again, is coming to grips with your past always lending itself to family situations and career? No, other reasons you look into your past, could be how to make the decisions for the future. You want to learn how to save money, well, analyze your past poor monetary choices. You want to buy a house, then lose the ways of renting because you’re the boss now. In the end, we all have something in our past that can determine the outcome of our future. It might be something as simple as adjusting your monetary expenses or fixing your love life. No matter what, be willing to look into your past and figure out what’s holding you down from accomplishing your future goals.


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