FROM SUCCESS COMES GUILT: WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL DOWN ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS

Image result for guilt

“I’m winning, but do I deserve it?”


You’re young, successful, and life couldn’t be any better. As a matter of fact, life is so good, you often feel like why are you coasting so easily. Now what’s interesting about that statement is that you built yourself to where you are in life. Yet when you look at your life, you have given so much to be where you’re at. Why are you feeling this weird sense of guilt, or undeserving feeling of you getting what you have today? It’s because when you see how the dynamics of how the world actually is built, you think to yourself, “How the hell did I get here?” But most of all, you’re seeing people around you work so hard, yet go nowhere.

Now, I also look at where you have come from as it pertains to your socioeconomic situation. If you grew up poor, and now you’re upper middle class, then you go back home and see poor people. People you know very well are hard working people. They’re not lazy, they’re not bulking the system, so why are they struggling and I am not? Why does it seem like money is coming to me so easily and they struggle to survive? You sit on the lakefront overlooking the landscape with your 5,000; 6,000; or 7,000 square foot house in the background. You look around and say to yourself, “Why me?”

But then you have to snap back to your senses and say, “Why not me?” Especially if you came from humble beginnings, you deserve to have what’s coming to you. But it’s sometimes more than just that in life. Sometimes, some of us are blessed with the ability to retain more knowledge, or just born with more knowledge. And that would mean you hit the genetic lottery. You are of the few that are able to use your mind to move yourself to another level. The things to some people that make no sense, flow through your mind perfectly. Now most would say, “Why don’t you share that knowledge?” And you do, hence, why you have so many people who struggle. Not because you shared your knowledge of success, but because how some of them receive the information.

You might share how you made it, and they ignore, or discredit what you’re saying. So it becomes tough to share with people sometimes because they have this disconnect that causing them to not want to accept the truth. Yet, you are of rational mind. So when two people of rational mind talk, yet only one can accept the rationale, then you have a disconnect. And in the end, that is why you shouldn’t feel hurt by where you are in life. Life is all about choices. Choices to listen, to work, to enjoy your life, and to part take in activities you shouldn’t do. And you should never feel like where you have come is some kind of mistake. Because there is always someone feeling and living worse off than you; so live life and enjoy.


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NOT QUITE THERE YET: ARE YOU NOT IN THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE

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“The long arduous path that is success.”


Have you ever had the feeling like you’re not in the place you want to be in life? Like you should be or thought you would be a lot farther by this point? Well, I am about to turn thirty years of age and I am working toward a career as a writer. While working toward this career, I am working two part-time jobs. And that sounds fine when you are a twenty years old, but not when you are thirty. Because when you are thirty, you are supposed to be a certain place by this time. You should be on your way to finding your first starter home and thinking about children, not writing. But I am pursuing a career I love, rather than a job I have to go to everyday.

So here I sit, in this moment writing. And to cope with the long road to writing success, I try to observe those that started around my age. And you see they had their first success at about mid to late thirties. Now I gave myself a ten year time period to break in as a successful writer of screenplays, playwright, and novels; with a little lightweight film/theatre directing. Now that I have gotten myself out of the way, what are you pursuing that your life isn’t where you thought it would be? We have all these visions when we are children of the things we will do as adults. But when we become adults, everything is up in the air once you are in the world on your own.

And everything is really up in the air if you have no clue what you want to do with your life. You typically spend all your time working, then coming home and existing. So the days turn into weeks, then weeks to months, and months to years. And before you know it, life has past them by, and they have not attempted at anything in life. And that is the scary feeling people have of not quite being there yet. They even see people their age making life decisions, going in the right direction. Yet they are still not there themselves. So they find any reason to avoid people they know out of shame. Why, well because we always compare ourselves to people that are around our age.

But what happens once people younger than yourself start making moves in life beyond you. That’s when you really start to feel uncomfortable. Seeing a new younger generation making moves that you feel you have not made yet. And what’s crazy, that young age group will feel the same once they reach my age. See, in the end, we don’t want to live with the failures. But we also don’t want to live with the idea of people saying I told you so. Trying at something and constantly failing at it over and over again. But I remember reading a quote by Thomas Edison which stated, “Many of life’s failures didn’t realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” But the real question is, how do you know when you’re close?


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A NATION IN LIMBO: HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU WITH THE PRESIDENCY IN AMERICA SO FAR

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“Only 15% into the term, yet so many problems.”


Since the presidential inauguration of Donald J. Trump as our Commander in Chief, there has been constant controversy around his presidency. From the comments he’s made that were deemed insensitive, to the link between him and Russia in an alleged tampering with the election. Now, there is even more controversy, this time circling the appointment of the new Communications Image result for trump inaugurationDirector Anthony Scaramucci. The former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer recently stepped down amidst the bringing in of Scaramucci. But it hasn’t been a full two weeks and Scaramucci has already stepped down already himself. The first story came out regarding his filing for divorce, then him stepping down. So now my question is, what will happen next in this administration?

While all this controversy is going on, we still have a nation with high unemployment, and people are becoming frustrated. Yet if Trump can’t shake the Russian controversy, fix the healthcare bill, nor maintain the travel ban, how will he fix employment. He made a statement regarding employment that he would levy tax on corporations shipping jobs overseas of 35% if they weren’t bent on Image result for american unemploymentreturning those jobs home. But with the world moving more in an automated direction, there is no purpose to preserve the industrialization of America. And I don’t know why the United States is stuck on factories anyways. This isn’t the 1900’s, we are in a more tech savvy environment. We need more engineers, managers, operational people, information driven people, and marketers.

But the American population, especially people in select regions don’t want to hear any of it. And a lot of these places for years heavily depended on the factories for a living. Only problem is that there are cheaper methods of building in our world today. And in order for America to stay competitive in the market, we can’t Image result for american factoriesgo back. Still, Trump supporters would say that this is just more liberal bull. That America can bring jobs back. But anyone that knows even a basic understanding
of the market knows this is false. For example, the priceless metals in our cell phone is in countries not indigenous to America. So if America bring factories here making cell phones, then labor drives prices up. Two things would happen: 1) Americans would have to spend more for items that they already struggle paying for now; 2) other countries can outbid America for raw materials.

So what do you do when China wants to make a cell phone. They charge few dollars and hour for labor. Since they do so, they can charges pennies and still Related imagemake a profit to stay in business. It takes $30, $40, and even $50 per hour to raise a family. Can you imagine how much a company wold have to charge for cell phone to recoup what’s lost for American made products just because of labor. So now you’re talking an iPhone made in America would skyrocket. Trust and believe people are buying the Chinese bought product. Because a large part comes down to labor; labor is just cheaper outside of America. Meaning America will have to change from an industrialized to an informational country. We have always been ahead of the curve for so long, and going backward won’t help.

In the end, Trump has made some pretty serious promises. But the biggest is not the healthcare, nor is it the borders. Trying to force company’s hands over jobs is going to be impossible. Because if the government won’t listen to him on the travel ban, then he’s not getting through with the 35% tax on companies. So now it’s a waiting game. People’s fingers are crossed, hoping for something, anything to happen.


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MAKING YOUR OWN LUCK: HOW YOU CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

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“You might have been dealt a bad hand; use in to your advantage.”


Some great advice for life, is that no matter what your economic, social, academic, ethnic, gender background, you can overcome a bad situation, At times we feel like all hope is lost for the future. But little do we know that we may be in a better position than we realize. Like me for example, I grew up below the poverty level in the United States. But does that mean I have to always be in that position in my life. You can tailor make life to move yourself out of your current situation. Problem is that most people have a hard time moving themselves out of their bad positions.

See, in earlier posts I talked about putting yourself in the know. And most people say, “What is the know?” “The know of what?” I say, “Whatever it is you’re attaining to have in this world.” So many people want something out of life, such as a paycheck. Yet they don’t quite understand what it is they have to do to get there. They’ll say,” I need a good paying job that makes good money.” That sentence has no clear meaning to it. You have to know what career interest, what title, what pay range, and what time it could potentially take to get there. And this requires having a certain level of self-awareness. Lacking an understanding of self will make it hard to navigate the know. Because you don’t know what you’re good at, if anything at all.

So what do you have to do, you have to test out different things in life. For me, I tried multiple things before I realized I wanted to be a writer. I said to myself, “Faheem, you’re going to be a doctor.” Then I realized I don’t have the patience to deal with patients. So next I said, “You’re going to be an attorney.” And envisioned myself in a court room standing before the judge and jury. Then I realized I could never get a guilty person off or send an innocent person to jail. My big break came when I said that I would go into the business field, which is broad. And it wasn’t until I went for my MBA I realized I wanted to be a writer. Initially it was not knowing what I was doing, if ever I would be successful, but I knew I loved it.

The more I wrote, the more I became comfortable with talking about myself. And I don’t mean being into myself. I mean debriefing information, and being more transparent than before in life. So what did I do, I realized I had something, and could make it into a career. So since the year 2013, I have been writing screenplays, blogging, and my books. So what does all this have to do with making my own luck? I am putting myself in the know by researching, and continuing to learn to write. Making those moves to understand the career for you and knowing what you’re good at it. And also knowing when to make appropriate adjustments to the things you write. Because you’re not going to know everything, especially in the initial stage, yet you have to develop a feel for when things are going right or wrong.

See, in the end, you can make your own luck. You just have to be willing to put yourself in a certain mind frame. And with that mind frame, you start to understand and develop a sense of self. Once you know yourself, you can pursue your career endeavor. This way, you’re being not vague about what it is you want. Sadly enough, a lot of people will never find what they’re good at in life.


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AGE OF DEPRESSION: HOW THE MORE WE UNDERSTAND SELF THE MORE UNHAPPY WE BECOME

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“In an era of technology, we are more connected, yet very much detached.”


In a world where we are more connected than anytime before, you would think it would make us happier. Yet it has not only made us happier, but the more we learn and understand ourselves the more depressed we become. And I don’t mean know ourselves like knowing me as an adult. I mean knowing us is it pertains to our existence on Earth. You would think with the advent of technological innovation and scientific breakthroughs, we would have a much higher level of enlightenment that would make us happy. But what that heightened awareness has done is give us the complete opposite effect. But should we digress because of this unintended effect?

View of Tourist Resort Well, let’s first look at what makes us depressed in today’s society. There are many different reasons why people tend to be unhappy. For starters, you are able to see up close your reality. And what I mean by your reality, you can see where you stand financially, socially, academically in the world. For example, you can Google image luxury, and see a world that is beyond your world just by typing it into a search engine. When my mother was young, an opulent life existed, yet you didn’t quite know about it. Clear Wine Glasses in a RowPeople were either born into wealth, or it was something you stumbled upon. Not today, today, you can actually see how little you have relative to someone else. And what’s crazy, you might have a socioeconomic position that is supporting you and your family. Yet you can’t enjoy because you are comparing yourself to someone way above you.

Why do we do it? Why do we look to someone that is far beyond us? Well, at times, that person is our age. No matter your age today, there is someone that age doing something on a more monumental scale than yourself. When I was in college, I was broke coming out, yet guys my age were signing multi-million dollar contracts to play sports. Comparing yourself to them and not appreciating what you have, even when what you have is adequate to live, robs you of gratification Image result for comparison peopleand the ability to live a fulfilling life. Meaning, you might want to make $50,000 in a year, but someone tells you, you should want better. Now you can’t enjoy what life you could have had with what you wanted because you’re chasing something you may not even want just to satisfy other people’s perspective. And with our lives being inundated with so much imagery, we still have another aspect of our lives that make us unhappy: our own existence.

Coping with our existence is tough for so many. And I don’t mean existence in the context of waking and going to work everyday, coming home, and sleeping. I mean the fact that we are here, on Earth, living and breathing. The fact that I was not born a lion, tiger, bird, or a house cat, but a human is hard for many to cope with in life. The simple existence that is me, a carbon based life form that has Related imagetaken forever to evolve into what I am, is hard to accept. And a lot of it comes from increased scientific understanding of ourselves. Here is where religion may have aided us in living on this planet. With the idea that there is something greater once we die, it gives us hope. As time progress in society, more and more people are becoming awoken to our existence. So awake, we are unmotivated to do anything. So now we become depressed with the idea that this is all that is here for us.

You would think that feeling this way would give people a sense of urgency, yet it’s having the inverse effects. The closer we come to figuring out why we are on Earth, the more we become detached from living. Maybe not knowing, is what’s best at times. Because in the end, unlike any other species where nature dictates how they behave, we are given conscious. We are given the ability to say yes or say no. We are endowed with the ability to make sound decisions. And that very conscious that gives us that ability also makes us aware of our situations in life. Some people make the best out of it, and others can never cope. And for those that can’t cope, it leads to further depression; leading to substance abuse or even suicide.

“He who increases knowledge, increases sorrow on the land.”

                          -Ecclesiastes 1:18


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LUXURY SAYS WHO: WHY STYLE, CLASS, AND SOPHISTICATION IS MORE PERCEPTION THAN REALITY

Image result for FASHION BRANDS

“It’s not what we perceive it to be.”


Living in New York City, you are constantly inundated with fashion. Especially considering I live in the borough of Manhattan. Doesn’t matter if it’s the tourist attraction that is 5th Avenue, or a more upscale area like Madison Avenue. The jam packed Times Square district, or Lower Manhattan areas like Soho, Nolita, Greenwich, and the Meatpacking District. Fashion is more than just what you where, it is a cultural statement in New York City. And for those that love it the most, it’s what they eat and breathe. But my question to you is, what is real style, real class, and real sophistication? We always say, “Oh, that’s classy, or that person has impeccable taste.” Yet, does it really have meaning?

In my quest to understand the true meaning of what fashion is and why also Related imagethese male and female designers are considered geniuses, I decided to break down fashion. Michael Kors, a staple in the fashion industry, recently purchased Jimm Choo for just over $1.5 billion. Jimmy Choo itself is a well known clothing brand and fashion designer. Now, a lot of people would tell you that both Jimmy Choo and Michael Kors are Image result for jimmy choo logoconsidered style, class, and sophistication. Yet, the meaning of style, class, and sophistication are very broad terms. But more than that, can you truly say that these clothing brands really epitomizes style, class, and sophistication. Just think about it, what happens when you purchase the clothing brand at various locations, does that change the image.

Meaning, what happens if you buy Jimmy Choo at Bergdorf Goodman? Does that mean it’s less valuable than if you made the purchase at a Jimmy Choo store? Or look at Ralph Lauren, another well known designer and clothing brand. If they sold Ralph at a Costco, would it change your ideology on Ralph being style and class? Related imageAnd oddly enough, people would look at Ralph a lot differently than they did prior. Hmmm, that’s interesting, so you mean to tell me that the difference in style, class, and sophistication is the venue in which you made the purchase. That would mean that these fashion brands are not real class; they’re not real style; and they’re not real sophistication. Then again, the ambiguity of the the prior three italicized words can have so many meanings.

Class is a grouping of people who share a common educational, social, and economic bond. Style is the manner in which someone wearing the attire has a distinct appearance in alignment with who they are and how they carry themselves. Sophistication is embodying a worldly view as it pertains to knowledge and views that can be interpreted in a complex manner. All three Close-up of Shoes And Bagwords are open to interpretation given their definitions, yet we in society have defined a singular view on each word. And we usually associate all three words with luxury and wealth. But luxury says who; wealth says who? You can walk inside of Target and if a upscale brand were to sell here it would bring the value down. But if the brand is real, you should be able to sell the brand anywhere. You should be able to sell Jimmy Choos in a Bergdorf Goodman, Jimmy Choo store, or even a WalMart Supercenter.

In the end, fashion is not real style, not real sophistication, and not real class. Wearing fashion, knowing fashion, loving fashion, is a shared experience with those who indulge in the likes of what you have come to love. We place a high price tag on it, build an attractive location, and style celebrities & socialites in the attire. Now it’s supposed to be the end all be all. Yet all it takes is purchased in a different location that we perceive to be classless, lacking style, lacking sophistication, or cheapened; and our experience is ruined. Some people always say, perception is reality. No perception is perception. It’s just that we have built such a culture around fashion, we truly believe it to be real. The most common term is misdirection: what the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes. Control the brain and the body will follow.


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MY DAY JOB, YAWN: WHY DO PEOPLE LOOK FORWARD TO FRIDAY AND DREAD SUNDAY NIGHT

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“I wish I were anywhere else but here.”


5:30 am, the alarm blares, and you role out of bed. You go straight to the bathroom, and stare yourself in the mirror because you are about to start your day of work. But first, you have to get yourself clean; so you turn on the shower. Scrambling for a towel, you find one and hang it on the rack. bed, bedroom, breakfastYou’re still half asleep even with the illumination of the light. That’s until the hot water hit your body. And when you’re half sleep, you sometimes turn on the water too hot, or too cold. And that is a shock out of this world; either the feeling of being in an ice box, or immediate pain of scorching temperatures.

After your shower, and you get dressed, it’s time to leave the house. With one step outside, all you can think about is the end of the day. Isn’t that something, you’re not even off the premises of your house and already you feel disconnected from work. And arriving at work is no better because nowcommuter, commuting, late all you’re thinking about is the weekend. And that’s when it’s confirmed; you hate your day job. Because if come Monday you’re thinking of Friday, and Sunday night, you’re dreading Monday morning, your life is being wasted. But what else is there for people to do. If you’ve found your career of interest you love all seven days.

Now on the other hand, if you’re one of these people that hate what you do, everyday is a drag. Because the weekend is not even good enough. Saturdays are rest days, and Sunday is in preparation for Monday. So how do you have a life that you want? Or better yet, how do you find out what Man in White Shirt Using Macbook Proyou’re good at, to even pursue the life you want? So many people don’t even know what they’re good at to pursue. You hear so many people say I want a good paying job, but what’s a job. They always say they need a job they like, but what’s a job you like. Yet when you ask what’s a good job, they look at you like you’re supposed to know.

I would liken adults looking for better employment opportunities to a crying baby. The baby can’t communicate what is wrong, but is hurting for some reason. And they expect you to know, but they can’t communicate to you why they are hurting. Only problem with adults is that they can communicate what’s wrong. And what’s wrong is they don’t like what they Related imagedo for a living. They don’t know what they are good, don’t even know the job they want, but know they hate their current position. An impossible feat in my opinion regarding wanting something new. Why, well if you don’t have a skill or self-awareness, how do you move forward?

Knowing your skills, you can manipulate your life how you want it to pan out. But lacking skills is why people say they need new work, I hate my job, or I need a new job. And in the end, that’s the problem with so many people who hate what they do, and would like something else. They don’t have any skills, or they lack the necessary skills needed to have a better career. It’s almost like we all hold our breathe, hoping for something to come. And when nothing comes we ask why. It’s because you have to make your own luck in our society. Easier said than done.


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