LIFE DEALT ME A BAD HAND OR DIDN’T IT: HOW PEOPLE USE EXCUSES AS TO WHY THEY’RE NOT SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE

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“I had this to do and that to do.”


All throughout life you hear people make statements regarding them getting the short end of the stick when trying to succeed in life. They’ll tell you all the reasons why things in life didn’t go their way. They had a rough childhood and didn’t have the support. Or even they might tell you how they had children at a young age and couldn’t pursue. They’ll tell you how much of your life was so much easier than their own. But they are telling you this in the moment. I have always wondered in the past tense, while living in real space and time, do people really have it hard as they say they do. Meaning, do people have the short end of the stick. Or do people make decisions in the moments, that define their entire existence on this Earth. Because there is a lot of that as well.

For example, someone will tell you at the age of 35 years old, that they can’t pursue because  they have a family to look after. They have 3 or 4 kids, and they have to be a parent. Then they’ll slip up and tell you the age of these kids. “Well, my oldest is 5 years old.” Then it hits you that they had an entire decade of life that they didn’t have children as a responsibility. Now, the person must come up with yet another excuse as to why. “Well, before I had kids I had to take care for my parent/s.” But when you start to press them on this, they begin to fall apart once again. And that’s when you realize you must end the conversation because this conversation is heading down the road of typical. The typical talking piece on not wanting to be held accountable for your actions. They want to hop and skip over every aspect of life that they have lived.

People make excuses because they have a hard time coming to terms with the idea that they have wasted so much time on doing nothing. They have laid back and enjoyed and indulged in the moment even to a point sometimes of overindulging. But instead of just saying I overindulged, they say all the things that never happened. So what it does is that the conversation becomes a waste of time itself. This person has a character flaw, and they’re trying to figure out ways around the truth which is accountability. I am able to be accountable because that’s how my mother raised my sisters and myself. And you want to tell people so bad to take responsibility for the fact that you are in this space and situation because of you. Yes, everyone has a story, but you can’t just use the story when you were also engaging in so many activities that contradicts your struggle at hand.

In the end, you will always have people who find it hard to admit they are where they are to an extent because of themselves. Yes, there are the case of people that have been given a bad hand. But there is always someone in your spot that made it out. Your story is not a unique situation to be in, in life. But putting in the time to get a better space mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially is what people don’t want to do. They don’t want to put in that time because they don’t want to deal with the idea of putting in their all and failing. Yet they’re putting their all into to nothing so far in life and it has gotten them nowhere. Why not try to put something in to see if formulates into something great?


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WWW.NOBRAIN.COM: HOW IS THE INTERNET MAKING US MORE DEPRESSED AND LESS INFORMED

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“You would think it would be an improvement not a hindrance.”


With our hands on so much information, you would think that it could potentially make us smarter. But it has not made us smarter, yet more so it has made us more slaves to our vulnerability. Which all sounds odd that we are more slaves with more information. But the information is not making us smarter because there is so much falsified information out there how do you know what’s real or fake. From the mass media on television in their competition for ratings, to the internet websites looking for hits and visitors rather than the truth. So what is the consumer left with, nothing more than multiples pages of information leading to nowhere. But then again, when we hear the truth we disregard it because lies sound much better. Well, why does the lie sound better to our ears than the truth.

This is the main reason why conspiracy theorists are so popular because they feed into not only the curiosity, but the ignorance of those not in the know. And the more we are feed it, the more it has led to people becoming more and more miserable and less and less happy. Then on top of it all, we see the perceptions people show us of their lives and it makes our existence seems that much not worth living. Everything that they are engaged in seems oh so exciting, yet they are stuck with what someone else is doing that is more than themselves as well. It just becomes a circle of fascination with ourselves leading to no one being happy with themselves. I have always wondered about the people in charge of putting out a lot for this content, how do they feel. We are the consumers, but how do they feel having to funnel this information to the masses. What is their level of satisfaction in life.

Meaning, what are the people in companies like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube doing on a daily basis. It seems to me like their jobs are more enjoyable because they get a chance to make the news. And when you’re making the news, you get to create anything you want. Or is it more like they are creating the community for the people to make their own news. And there lies more depression and sadness. The masses have now become journalists, which presents its own set of problems. Professional journalists have a certain way they handle information that is different than the average Joe. So it is more trustworthy coming from the mouths of someone trusted on T.V. than some young blogger or videographer on a platform. Yet in the recent years, journalists themselves have become these get it out there first type of people. No matter if the story is true or false.

So now, in the end, we have cultivated these mediums where we receive all this news and information. From Google to Facebook, YouTube to the national news outlets. We are constantly bombarded with information and news, but the internet has become the biggest form of receiving information lately. Yet since it’s coming from so many unknown and known journalists, we don’t know what to believe. And for that reason, we have become depressed, sad, and miserable. Receiving news from so many people in so many forms makes us not trust anything we hear until it is smack dab in our faces. By that time it is far too late to react.


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STANDING POWER: WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR AMERICA

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“The shift has caused conflict, but will it last?”


With all the social issues that have been popping up in the news recently, you have to ask yourself the question. Does America have standing power over the long haul? Because people are getting real antsy regarding the lack of jobs and their lost of freedoms. Not to mention these different regions are preaching sentiments of the past that could only hurt America not help. So what does the future hold for the country? In my opinion, I think that America is just fine, it’s just a rough patch we’re going through right now. But if it is, what is the reason, and when will it end? Or, on the other hand, maybe we just see more today than the past. That could be another reason it seems we’re heading downhill. Whatever it is, it has people off the rails.

One main reason, like I said above is because of the availability of the news in society. In the past, we didn’t have 24 hour news cycles that never seemed to never end. And when there was breaking news, the news really was breaking. Now, if the president is wearing an article of clothing we don’t like it becomes breaking. administration, articles, bankThe internet does not help the situation either; with social media, everything seems so much more worse than it is in real life. If you didn’t know any better you would think that we are on the brink of a major catastrophe. Then when something does happen that is bad, we start to really panic. Because all it does is further validates what we thought was really going in society. But is the news media the only aspect of society that makes you question its longevity.

What about the idea that jobs that have long been the source of America infrastructure have left and it seems like nothing is replacing it. We have so many people in America who only knew the factories, yet now what are they left with since everything is leaving. What are they left to do? Well, if they would educate themselves, there is a lot of money to be made in our country. adult, blur, booksAnd the money lies in this new tech space, yet so many don’t know how to access such information. The answer is to Google, Facebook, Instagram, Yahoo, or YouTube it. Look up information and try to put yourself in the know. But this is tough when the status quo has been the same for so long. Most people get up and work as if there will be a check for them every two weeks. Only problem is that this is not always the case. Sometimes you have to learn new things to keep you abreast of every change in time.

Which brings me to the last reason I think America is spiraling. We need to jump on with this new wave instead of rekindling all flames. American citizens are like someone looking up to see how someone who they used to date is doing. When you should be moving forward in life instead of trying to check on old flames. One U.s. Dollar Beside 100 Philippine PesosThere is a reason it ended, just leave it in the past. And that in the end, is a problem in America. We think by heading backward we can move forward. The problem with that is that we are not in the early to mid 1900’s. This is a global economy, and in order to thrive you have to find your place in this space. Other emerging nations are starting to make their come up and if America does not shift ourselves, we might be left lagging behind. China has already surpassed our economy as number one in the world. So it’s up to us to not only be the change, but make the change as well.


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IN MY TIME OF NEED: HOW THIS NATURAL DISASTERS SAY A LOT ABOUT PEOPLE OF FAITH

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“For I was hungry and ye fed me not.” – MLK


Watching the results of the hurricane that hit the city of Houston made me realize something. All these people who are saying keep the city in your prayers; I wonder how many of them are giving aid. And it does not necessarily have to be in the form of money. I wonder how many of those people are actively engaging in trying to make the situation better. Are they going house to house making sure people are fine? Are they reaching out to see if they could perform some civic duty to make the lives of people in Houston better? Are they putting together some type of initiative to aid in the safety of people in need? Whatever it is they should be doing should be exemplified, yet it’s not as much as it should be.

There was recent backlash at the famous pastor Joel Olsteen who runs a mega church where 16,000 people come on Sundays to hear him speak. He has a church that could hold masses, which could serve as a place of refuge. But he instead stated that he would help if there were more people who couldn’t get the help because helped had reached its capacity at its current levels. People felt that a man of his stature should disregard the aid people were receiving and still open up his doors. Since the backlash, he has made a turn around, yet people still think that he should have done this initially. Why did it take backlash toward a man who is suppose to be a man of God to answer? Let’s say no one made a statement, would he have acted or just left everything alone.

In moments like this, you really find out what the human species is all about. People themselves have been helping each other, yet the ones of the religious faith who are respected the most have been praying. If religion is real and the faith is real, there should an out pour of assistance of church leaders nationwide. And I think that as time continues to trek along, you are going to start to see a decline in religion. Because people are having this feeling that we have to help each other. So religion begins to take a back seat with so many people helping one another. It’s just sad that people don’t aid each other on daily basis. But as for the church, time passes and with that time comes a disinterest in the belief as a whole. Because when stakes are high and chips are down, these religious figures run away the fastest.

In the end, I don’t know what the real answer should be. But you see the real nature of man the moment disasters happen. This is actually the upside to us as people. No matter the ethnic background, our human existence becomes paramount when trying to survive. And that will always be the status quo, yet I do believe the religious figures are becoming less and less important.


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GPA, WHO CARES: HOW IMPORTANT ARE GRADES REALLY?

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“Is it really a determinant in life?”


All my life in school I was taught that if you are not getting the grade in school, you are setting yourself up for failure. How are you not up late night studying for an exam or doing the homework? If you are a “C” student, then you are not going places in life. Now, if you are a straight “A” student then you are in position to make things happen for yourself in life. No one cares about other aspects of school, like your ability to learn subjects that interest you, how long you are willing to toil away at a subject, or even your ability to bounce back from adversity. Because a lot of those “A” students are so used to getting good grades, they have a hard time coming back from anything bad in college or in life. Why else do these good kids fall so hard?

Because when you grow up in school, the teacher will gravitate toward the good student/s. And when that good kid goes to college, the professor has no problem giving you a failing grade. They are not going to care who you were prior to college. And this is the first time in your life you have had a poor grade. So they at times can spiral downward. The kid who didn’t get higher grades have had to grind in the face of being told you can’t succeed outside the grade. The “C” student might be an “A” student in life, but they are not good in school. I can tell you for sure that school and life is so different. School is this structural environment that makes you study minus the notes. But in life you’re allowed to use your notes and all other materials for your personal gain. You have to go get it in life, not brought to you.

Schools like to scare kids into telling them things about the real world that is real, but also somewhat of a distraction. Because when you step into the real world, everything up to that point that is not relevant to work experience means nothing. You have to prove yourself, and if you are not use to proving yourself, then no one cares about anything you have done in this world. That is why grades are important, but like I said before, a little bit of a distraction. Because I was not the best kid in English growing up, yet I self-published two books this year, and working on my second short film script. But, I also taught myself everything about writing on my own. People feel since I didn’t learn in an academic environment I can’t possibly write. But writing is writing; and to get better you must continue to write well.

In the end, grades are not the end all be all, but schools look at it that way. To me, it is not just a way of ranking people in classrooms, it’s about providing exclusivity in the schools. If every kid in the classroom gets an “A” then the teacher gets reprimanded because the course is too easy. If too many fail, then the course is too hard. So we structure schools that so many can’t do well, then grade them in life on the basis. Let me tell you, it’s not that; you are not going to fail in life because of a grade. Succeeding in life has to do with perseverance, will, determination, consistency, hard work, and persistence.


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LIFE ON HOLD: HAVE YOU HAD TO HOLD OFF ON YOUR DREAMS TO CARE FOR OTHERS

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“They had to come first.”


As a child to a single mother, I would always hear how she wanted to do so much in her life. But having children at such a young age, mixed with not having the support system she needed, she was unable to do so. Now in her 50’s, and no children to care for, she is embarking on more things she was never able to do when she was young. And that’s what brings me to the topic today. Have you ever had to put your dreams on hold for something or someone else. For my mother it was her three children, but for someone else it could be something different. We as people sacrifice so much of ourselves in the name of helping other people. A move which I do not plan on doing in my life because it derailed so much of what my own mother wanted to accomplish in life.

But it is really that easy to say? What if I became a parent, and now so much of what I wanted to do I couldn’t? Does that mean I have to completely give up everything? Well, yes and no at the same time. Because yes, you do have to give up a lot when you start having children. But I also think that is your obligation to make sure your children have someone that they can look up to as well. Meaning, your outlook on life will ultimately effect the way your children see the world. I have always been curious about the world that we live in because my mother has had such an open worldly viewpoint. We didn’t just watch a bunch of nonsense as children growing up in her household. We would go to the library, watch the History channel, Discovery Channel, and National Geographic. She would open us up to new things and people different than ourselves.

So for me, every time I start a new project I think about my mother. She was not able to do so much, I do things for that reason. Not that reason alone, but it always sits in the back of my mind. See, it’s easy for me to look at life in the scope of not having to care for anybody but me. I am single with no children, so the sky is the limit. But at one point in time, those people with others they have to look out for, such as their children, were in my current position. But, is it always about children? You have adults taking care of other adults as well. Which is something I am not doing as well. I receive aid from home because I am making strides in my life. But caring for an able-bodied adult who does not want anything out of life, not my problem.

See, in the end, at times we give up our lives to aid people who might be sick, to a child, or because we think it makes us admirable to do so. I understand the children aspect because they didn’t ask to be brought into the world. But you going to work caring for adults who are just as capable of working is not your problem. They have to go out into the world and earn as well. To many people are putting lives of others over themselves when they shouldn’t. You have your immediate obligations which are your children, and parents; everyone else is not an immediate obligation. And it is on them to figure their own life out.


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DYING SENTIMENT OR THRIVING HATRED: HOW MUCH OF MY ETHNICITY REALLY PLAYS A ROLE IN MY SUCCESS

“Sins of the past don’t have to be the future.”


The above photo is of a woman by the name of Vivian Malone. Vivian Malone was the first African American student to register for classes at the University of Alabama as an undergraduate student. The university was racially segregated, and up to this point no had been successful in entering the school. Even the governor at the time, George Wallace, stood at the door, blocking her entry temporarily before she was allowed access inside. Now, this topic is not about Vivian Malone, this topic is in reference to how much has changed since that time period. That was back in 1963 when she was denied entry, and my mother was only 3 years old herself. Since then, a lot more students have been admitted to Alabama, and no one thinks twice about Black children attending. But we still have conflicts in America today, as exemplified in Virginia a few weeks ago.

So my question is, how much does my ethnicity even in today’s society contribute to my success. Because I see so many men and women that look like myself that are successful, but then you see what has been going on in the country today. There are marches for White Supremacy in America, yet there are counter protest on the other side. And the counter protest are bigger than the supremacy groups. So yes, racism does exist, but on what scale. I have experienced it in life and still do. But what role does it and will it play in future success? A lot of the sentiment, I am not concerned with at this point in America. Because if you don’t like me by this time, then you never will. My only obligation is working to succeed how I want to succeed. I’m not in this world to convince everyone to love me, that’s not practical.

Yet, you have to deal with these types of people. I was reading somewhere that only 10% of the American population are supporters of these Neo-Nazi groups. Now, looking at this from a percentage basis we say, “10% is not a lot of people. But the American population is close to 320 million people. With 10% of these people following hate groups, 30 million people are a lot of people. But see, I am not trying to win those individuals over. I know they have and never will like me. My goal is I don’t want to have to come into contact with them. Yet when you see the Virginia march with tiki torches, you say to yourself, some of these guys were professors and even worked in the medical field. It creeps me out that some of these people could be my doctors. Black men already have and adverse feeling when looking at doctors.

Yet, in the end, I still look at my life with hope. Though in the back of my mind, the thought never leaves. When I come across someone and have what I perceive to be a racial experience, and I say to myself, “Did they because; nah, maybe not.” Nonetheless, I am hopeful; for my future and the country. We like to look in the past and say that people were so awful. But I think there were just as many good people today as in the past. It’s just that we all excepted life as what it was then. And the more we pushed against the grain, the more we look back and say, “You know, this wasn’t ok at that time.” For me, I look at photos of separate water fountains that said, “White Only and Colored Only.” It seems weird to look at, but for older people in my family that was life at one point in time. I feel life is changing, it’s just in real time we don’t see it. We never see life while in the paradigm of living it; humanity never will. Only when you look back over time we become convinced of the changes.


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