SHAMEFUL ABUSE: HOW SOME COUPLES USE ABUSE AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT

angry, argument, attack

“Some people fight to stay together.”


Abusive relationships are a very divisive conversation, but what about the abusive relationships where people are comfortable with abuse. And what do I mean by a comfortable situation. I mean couples who have an understanding regarding their relationship. They argue and fight and it’s something that they accept. Other people might look at it and judge them for doing so, but it is completely normal to them. Now, with that said, it could easily be seen as unhealthy, and it is. But what is considered unhealthy in a relationship. Because there are some taboos that are seen as not being normal, but it is that couples’ thing in their relationship.

For example, some people have what is deemed as strange sexual behavior in the relationship. That might be seen by the dominant society as strange and unusual, but to them it is normal. It only becomes unhealthy once the thing that makes this relationship tick becomes dangerously physical. Yet, some still feel that in the mental state certain behaviors are not normal. But who are we to say what is normal or abusive if it is that couples’ sexual thing. Don’t get me wrong, it may be Unorthodox, but it works for them. But is sexual the only way people may exemplify behavior that goes against relationship norms.

No, some people actually in engage in physical fights. This can be dicey because if someone is assaulted it is grounds for prosecution in a court room. Because this may be how a couple communicate, but it is still against the law. It will be treated as a criminal case and not as how this couple get along with each other. For instance, former NFL player Ray Rice was caught on a hotel surveillance camera punching his wife in the face. He tried his best to separate himself from the situation, but he was unsuccessful. He wound up out of the NFL and without a job. Because what was caught on the camera is not just a knee jerk reaction. There is an aspect of that relationship where that form of abuse works for them.

You may wonder, who would build a relationship where punching someone is part of the deal. But some people have their way of communicating. You have relationships that argue and some that fist fight. In the end, whatever the way you communicate, it is only deemed wrong once people start getting hurt. Otherwise, what you do in private is between you and that person you are with.


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