VULNERABILITY: OPENING YOURSELF TO MONOGAMY

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“Why is it so hard to open up?”

To be in a monogamous relationship is to open yourself to a host of emotions. And to be quite honest, most will dodge the opportunity to find someone to be with because they are afraid of being hurt. But is that a reason to stay alone because you don’t want to deal with the hurt. Now, you would think I would be referring to only women. But no, no, there are plenty of men as well who deal with such feelings. We as men try to come off as stoic, yet, many of us elude from meeting anyone as well. Well why do we do it? What are some reasons as to why people are not able to open themselves up to relationships.

For starters, the most obvious reason is because no one wants to get cheated on. Having someone go behind your back and break what you defined as a code among each other can be traumatizing. After these types of incidents, it can be hard to trust not only the person, but the next person that comes along. All you keep thinking about is the last person who did you wrong. And now this new person may have to inherit the old person’s screw ups. But is it always headache and heartbreak? Are there any other reasons why people find it hard to open themselves up in relationships? And the answer is yes, there other reasons.

Another reason would be that people don’t want to deal with the rejection. No one wants to open up and express their love for someone and get shut down. It’s like those videos of men who get down on one knee, and the woman says no. But most of all, how about the guys who do it on live television. How embarrassing it must feel to be rejected for the world to see. But even in a setting of one on one, it can still be painful. But, are there any other reasons why being vulnerable is tough as it pertains to relationships? And the answer is yes.

The last reason I can come up with is being accepted by peers and family. We have someone we may like, but afraid that some or all the people around us may reject that person. We want people close to us to accept the person just as much as we do. And the idea that some of them may not like the person as much as us, is painful. So in the end, we don’t want to be vulnerable because showing love leaves us susceptible to too much. The emotions at times can overcome us, leaving us helpless. And no one wants to feel down on themselves in an attempt to be happy. But rest assured, sometimes, the person you like is just as nervous about rejection as you.

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