GROW UP KIDS: THE FAILURE TO LAUNCH FOR AMERICA’S YOUNG ADULTS

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“We are so not ready for the world.”

Generation Me, Generation Y, Generation Selfie! All three describe my generation of young people who are born between the mid 1980’s to the early 1990’s. We are the generation born into an era where everything is for mass consumption. We live record our lives and post to social media our innermost feelings. We determine how many friends we have by the number of followers we have on the internet. Our intimate relationships are initiated in a hurry and end rather quickly. But there is one main thing that makes us have it hard to cope in society. And that is the idea that a lot of time must be taken to build our careers. How do we cope in the real world with having to wait for success in such an immediate environment that we’re used to seeing?

The coping with a long arduous career climb, makes us jumpy when so much moves around you so fast? We work on a job for 6 months, and become discouraged for not advancing in our career. To a working adult in the their middle aged years, you realize that 6 months, hell, 6 years, you’re still not making too much of a difference. In a 10, 15, or 20 year span, you should see that progress with work. The road to success also is viewed by my age group as this jump straight into making a load of money. We have been told by our parents that we’re special our entire lives. Now we think the world owes us something.

Besides our parents and the speed of the environment around us, is there anything else that forces us to not have patience. Another has to do with age in general. We look at our young age, especially when you’re struggling, we think everything is worse than it is. Working toward a goal takes time, and by time I mean years. So the time between 20 years of age and 30 years of age seems tough. But if you started in your early 20’s then hopefully you’re breaking into your career much sooner. Yet, it’s much easier to say start early because when you’re young, you don’t know what you want out of life. There is no real self awareness in your life. So how do you launch yourself into the world?

Well, my story of how I launched myself is for starters moving to a different city. Living in a city that is different than where you grew up is a step forward. There are no friends nor family around, forcing you to grow up quicker on your own. You’ll get a chance to see that no freebies will be allotted to you. All special treatment is out the door and you’re expected to rise to the occasion. So without that safety net, you are forced to work things out over time. Now, there is nothing wrong with reaching back here and there for help when needed. But it is really important for you to be on your own.

So now what? Where do we go from here on out? In my opinion, everyone thinks that whatever generation is young will be doomed. And the previous generations feel they are better and we are worse. I think that once reality set in, a lot of things will change. It’s called paying rent, utilities, student loans, and healthcare. So, for the most part, a lot of what we are is nothing more than a phase. A phase that will past in order to coexist in the dominant society.

EXTERNALLY STRONG, INTERNALLY WEAK: THE EMOTIONAL UPS AND DOWNS OF BLACK WOMEN

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“Where does it all come from?”

America’s most educated demographic of people: Black women. That’s right, highly educated, very successful; but. And there is a but; what about the romance? Not romance as it pertains to are they affectionate, but what about their love life? In today’s society, Black women are in more professional positions than anytime prior. All the bells and whistles, yet when it comes to their love lives, this is the area that takes a back seat. What is about Black women that there love lives tend to lose out to their professional lives. Better yet, is it just the career alone?

You see, growing up, being raised in a household by Black women, I didn’t notice anything wrong. Me personally, I grew up not aware of any stereotype either of any kind. The women that raised me, were a pretty chilled group of women. It wasn’t until I became an adult, that I started to hear the feelings of what Black women felt. My mother and sisters were almost careful not to put too much out there for me to see, but coming into society I experienced something new. Well, not me personally, but experience in hearing and seeing how many Black women felt hurt and shut out. Where does it come from? Is it real, or is it just in their (black women) heads?

For starters, there are a lot of stereotypes that are in society describing Black women. So there is no wonder, the frustration and anger comes from a group of women. But is that all there is? So many Black women as I said earlier are very successful. But is success always the replacement for happiness? From the outside things look perfectly fine, but what about internally? How do Black women really feel internally?  To me, when I walk up the street, life seems fine from my point of view. But is there really a problem. Now, I don’t want to make Black women appear to be victims, but there is a problem at times.

Then, what is the solution? Black women hold hurt, but don’t want to be seen as victims. They are successful, but don’t feel success should get in the way of relationships. They feel angry sometimes, yet, don’t want to be looked at as mean or angry. And they love independence, but can’t find love. Yet don’t want to be seen as needy. It sounds all over the place and at times it is. When the object of affection in America is always publicized as White women in media, sports, entertainment, publications; then a feeling of being left out sets in. What is the overall solution? I myself have to admit that I don’t know because it is such a personal situation to deal with in life. But whatever or wherever the change comes from, it must change because it can only hurt Black women in the end.

BANS! TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME: IS AMERICA REALLY READY TO BE BANNED AS WELL

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“Are we willing to be banned as well?”

In recent news, President Donald Trump has signed an executive order to ban people entering the United States from a few select Islamic nations. Now there even more protest regarding the ban, that can further overshadow his presidency. So the new question to ask is if he’s banning so many, what about resources. If the people are gone, does this mean we are going to turn away their resources as well. America gets a lot of it’s oil from the Middle East. And to think that there will be a ban on a few chosen places, without upsetting these Muslim countries, you’re going to have problems.

Well, why would they have problems? Number one, I don’t think that other Muslim countries that are not being banned will support this ban. Because to them, it’s only a matter of time before they’re on the chopping block. He’s starting with these few chosen places, but whose to say he’ll stop there. Whose to say that next it won’t be someone else. So, in the moment, you’re not seeing the fight against it, unless it’s from the United States citizens. But there are other issues that could arise from Trump’s ban pertaining to Islam. And that is one that could actually hurt this nation; oil.

America’s transit system as well as domestic drivers depends upon this relationship with the Middle East not being affected. So many of these suspected terrorist countries have ties to Saudi Arabia. What will be the ban for this country? Will there even be a ban on this country? But, the issue is oil. Then again, our relationship with the Saudis ties into that. We want to separate from these places. But are we ready to separate fully? Are we ready to turn away natural resources as much as we do the people? The same applies to Mexico. We want resources, but we are going to have a problem with bans. But what if these countries enlist their own bans?

What would happen when Islamic nations step back away from the West? A move like this could lead to international conflict as well as putting boots on the ground. You see, America does not have an alternate source of energy. So what happens to our nation; a mass transit stoppage. That could be enough for a global conflict. So my best guess is that Trump will not be banning too many people coming from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, or the U.A.E. (United Arab Emirates) So where we go from here? With this ban, you have people who have aided America in our fight against extremism. Providing pertinent intelligence on radical groups. So Trump says he’s fighting extremism, but is he fighting extremism, or making it possible for people to slip through the cracks. Someone or people could already be here, and banning those entering to aid us can cause a disconnect.

EAGER TO WAIT: DOES PROLONGING ASKING FOR SEX MEANS YOU CARE?

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“Where does this belong in society today?”

It’s funny how cultural references take on new meanings throughout life. Especially in the case when we’re discussing the topic of sex. I remember when I first heard of the 90 day rule. Which is basically the time-frame adequate for a man and woman to engage in sexual intercourse. When I first heard this rule, I have to admit, it sound rather silly to place a time-frame on sex. Because the great thing about sex is that it’s just supposed to happen. And nothing says sex is not interesting or spontaneous like putting a calendar date on it. Now, is there a reason for this to exist? Is there any real logic as to why a rule like this must be put into place?

Let’s try to understand the essence of the 90 day rule. Well, for starters, 90 days is seen as a quality enough time period for people to get to know each other. Alright, why do people need time to get to know one another? The reason being, is that men and women are wired differently. We aim to get sex as quickly as possible, while women tend to want to wait. And we are judged differently in society also. So given that, women feel that there must be adequate time in order for men and women to get to know one another before engaging in sex. So there is something other than just the physical; meaning an investment.

Which leads me to the next reason why people wait. Sex is part of a relationship that involves investing. Investing time and space for a more long-term situation. So making someone wait sounds rational. You never want to feel like you’re rushing something that could potentially go somewhere. But is there a such thing as waiting too long? You might think you’re waiting for the right time and wind-up losing something good in the process. Is there always a reason to wait? In my opinion, no.

I know the old-fashioned way is to make someone wait for sex. But in my opinion, I don’t think in the past people waited. It was just a lot more taboo to talk about it. People in the past weren’t as open with sexuality as they are now. But nonetheless, people didn’t wait for the opportunity to have sex. Why is this so? Because it’s a human emotion. People are not designed to hold off on something that is so natural. Sex is a normal behavioral action. And I think that in our society we tend to suppress this natural action. And religion has a lot to do with it as well as society. We’re all afraid of being judged on so many of our actions, but the people who judge may be doing the same as you.

In the end, there are good reasons, but I also think that sometimes, people can be a little ridiculous with the rules they place on sex. Man has turned a fun and spontaneous engagement into a job. You’re told on a job that your benefits kick in 90 days, so the whole time, you’re thinking about the benefit. Sure, a relationship is an interview, but sex shouldn’t be a job. If it’s a job, maybe it’s not worth having it at all.

HATE TO LOVE: OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CAPITALISM

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“How do you see capitalism?”

Greed is the word to describe capitalism in today’s society. But is it all greed and is it all the fault of the person making money? We say we hate capitalism, or is it some of e the people who operate within it. Because if you open a restaurant in the United States, you are a capitalist. Maybe not like the men and women on Wall Street. But you are, in essence, a capitalist. So what do people mean when they say they have an issue with capitalism? Is the problem with capitalism more centralized? Is there a problem within it that has led to concerns here in America? But most of all, is there anything we do to contribute to what we hate most?

Now when I hear, I hate capitalism, I look at it from a centralized viewpoint. Or is it really? There were recently a group of people running throughout cities breaking glass windows of businesses in the U.S. Any business that they felt was a contribution to the capitalism was vandalized. This meant, businesses like Starbucks and McDonald’s, or even flipping over luxury vehicles. Surprisingly enough, people were throughout social media agreeing with the behavior of the looters. Problem with breaking business windows is that a lot of these people are small business owners. They’re not these top executives you see from investment banking companies. The average business owner, or even franchisee, is not bringing home $100 million plus in compensation.

You break the windows to their businesses and costly repairs could be a hit to their pocket books. So what is it? Because to me, if you have a job you’re a contributor to capitalism. So if you hate capitalism that much just quit life. But you won’t do that, so what is it? In my opinion, the majority of people take issue with some of the greed that exist in certain sectors of the corporate world. One of which are the banking executives who are taking in bonuses and compensation packages in the hundreds of millions, some billions. So when your car company and financial institutions are going under and need bailouts; all the while you’re showing up to Congress flown in by private jets, it makes you resentful. That type of upset is understandable because these individuals are very predatory.

But, on the other hand, do we have a hand in the madness? And the answer is yes we do. The I hate capitalism ideology is so petty because if you don’t like capitalistic companies don’t patronize the majors where money is going. Meaning, you can’t say I hate corporations, then turn around and buy thousands of dollars worth of Apple products. Don’t say I hate capitalism, then turn around and trample people during Black Friday. All so you can get a deal on flat screen television or a laptop computer. And that’s why I say protests against capitalism are a waist of time. We say things like screw the corporations then after the protest, discuss our hatred over a mocha latte from Starbucks.

In the end, capitalism will always be an aspect of our lives. As long as you’re willing to open your pockets, someone will forever be there to collect the money. I heard a saying one time that stated if you give ten people $100, at the end of the day one person will have $1,000 and 9 people will be broke. You’re going to always have a poorer demographic. The United States could print out money and give everyone $1 million. In a year, the vast majority will have lost a substantial amount, and the few that stand will be the 1%. So, from where I stand, I don’t have an issue with capitalism. Just certain practices that have polluted the environment.

VULNERABILITY: OPENING YOURSELF TO MONOGAMY

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“Why is it so hard to open up?”

To be in a monogamous relationship is to open yourself to a host of emotions. And to be quite honest, most will dodge the opportunity to find someone to be with because they are afraid of being hurt. But is that a reason to stay alone because you don’t want to deal with the hurt. Now, you would think I would be referring to only women. But no, no, there are plenty of men as well who deal with such feelings. We as men try to come off as stoic, yet, many of us elude from meeting anyone as well. Well why do we do it? What are some reasons as to why people are not able to open themselves up to relationships.

For starters, the most obvious reason is because no one wants to get cheated on. Having someone go behind your back and break what you defined as a code among each other can be traumatizing. After these types of incidents, it can be hard to trust not only the person, but the next person that comes along. All you keep thinking about is the last person who did you wrong. And now this new person may have to inherit the old person’s screw ups. But is it always headache and heartbreak? Are there any other reasons why people find it hard to open themselves up in relationships? And the answer is yes, there other reasons.

Another reason would be that people don’t want to deal with the rejection. No one wants to open up and express their love for someone and get shut down. It’s like those videos of men who get down on one knee, and the woman says no. But most of all, how about the guys who do it on live television. How embarrassing it must feel to be rejected for the world to see. But even in a setting of one on one, it can still be painful. But, are there any other reasons why being vulnerable is tough as it pertains to relationships? And the answer is yes.

The last reason I can come up with is being accepted by peers and family. We have someone we may like, but afraid that some or all the people around us may reject that person. We want people close to us to accept the person just as much as we do. And the idea that some of them may not like the person as much as us, is painful. So in the end, we don’t want to be vulnerable because showing love leaves us susceptible to too much. The emotions at times can overcome us, leaving us helpless. And no one wants to feel down on themselves in an attempt to be happy. But rest assured, sometimes, the person you like is just as nervous about rejection as you.

A NATION OF FEAR: ARE WE MORE AFRAID OF TRUMP THAN WE SHOULD BE.

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“Is there a legitimate reason to fear?”

As president elect Donald Trump now takes control over the White House, conversations begin to take place regarding him running the country. Saturday January 21st, 2017 was the day protest were held in major cities across the country and around the world. Women took to the streets as they marched in opposition of the new president elect. From New York City to Chicago, from Los Angeles to over the Pacific Ocean into Sydney Australia. Women who felt their rights would be in jeopardy of being impeded  upon once the new president took office. These protest would reach record numbers into the millions.

Now my question is, are we right to protest or are we more afraid than we should be of the newly inaugurated president? Even though he is the leader, how much voice will he really carry? And to what extent will he even be allowed to do what we’re afraid he will do? Could he really do what we’re all afraid will happen? If given enough time, is it possible that he can turn around so much he has said in the past? Or is it too late and there is no going back? The reality is yes and no. But we all have theories as to why he can hurt the country, but why he can’t is something we don’t discuss. Well, what is truly stopping him from doing what all our fears are in the end?

For starters, removing the 11 million immigrants from the country is more of a can’t do. Something of such magnitude isn’t as easy as just walking into households removing people. The initial cost to do so would require massive logistical issues that is a sure enough nightmare for the government. Not to mention the economic loses from people being forced out. The problem is that there are a lot of emotions and not enough thought driving these initiatives. But for those who know this specific group of people, they’re not sitting around living off the system. They’re contributing to the system. Whether it’s providing food and clothing for their families, to renting properties and sending children to college. So, forcing this many people out would cause short term and long term financial windfalls not to mention the massive blowback from the public who already have been vigilant in their fight against the president.

Another obstacle keeping the president from impeding upon the people would be the vote in Congress. The president is in control of a third power, he stills need one third more from outside himself. If he is unable to get his two thirds (meaning a third from him and Congress or the House), he is rendered immobile. He does have veto power, yet can’t outright just make decisions. So nothing on the scale to what we fear can happen without the system’s backing. Which explains why so little gets accomplished even with all the promises on the campaign trail. But, I’m sure a lot of people know this, so why the fear? It’s not just the idea of him winning the presidency. It sets precedent that someone else will come behind him with the same rhetoric and create even more of a climate of separation.

Yet does it; are we just being too sensitive or can one person just walk in and change the landscape of the country? Probable, yet highly unlikely because his behavior could cause a domino effect hurting too many people that aren’t even meant to get hurt. So why are people so read to fight? My best guess is that there are a lot of fears. We have these fears that we are losing something. Something that may not even come up while he’s in office, but just the idea of him eluding to us losing something could cause a problem. In the end, he may just turn out to be like every other leader we’ve had. Do some good, some things that irritate us, yet the country maintains an equilibrium. Up until the next guy comes into office, where we start the insanity all over again.