Have you ever been sitting around thinking about the person close to you who is deceased? Have you ever asked yourself, “If only I had one more year, one more month, one more week, one more day, one hour, even a minute.” “If only I had said what I wanted to say before they left.” “If only we would have reconciled.” The regrets continue to pile up because people realize that we are not here forever, yet we never take the opportunity to fully be apart of each others’ lives. We say, “I want to call this person, but I’ll contact them later.” Then, once the person passes and tomorrow never comes, we regret. “How come I didn’t pick up the phone and call that person.” We never pick up the phone just to say hello, how are you doing.
In my life, I have lost a few people that were major in my family: my father’s mother, my mother’s mother and grandmother. When someone is alive, visiting them is not of immediate concern because what the hell, I’ll see them this weekend. I remember when my mother’s mother passed we were planning for Thanksgiving. Bringing together ideas for food and where it would take place. The night of Halloween, she passes away and the next month is the first holiday without her. I often think about her as well as her mother who passed less than a year later; and my father’s mother a few years after. So when people pass, what you have from them are photos, memories, and hopefully a remembrance of their voice. But it’s never the same as when they were here.
This post does not only extend to parents and grandparents, but other family as well. Married couples who have been with each other for years rarely cherish those days themselves. They figure, “Hey, that person is in my life.” “We’ll see each other tomorrow.” You lose your spouse and now there is no tomorrow because you just thought they were going to be waking up next to you everyday. Not once did it go through your mind that it’ll come to an end. You knew it would eventually, but not so soon.
But why are we so regretful toward the end. A lot of it has to do with not spending enough time with them while they are here. It can’t all be about them dying. Because think to yourself, when is the best time to die? What, 40, 50, 100 years of age. You’ll be unhappy at anytime. My great grandmother passed and she was almost 100 years old, yet no one was ready for her to pass. My advice in the end, do what you can while the person is alive. These grandparents were individuals who played a vital role in raising me growing up. I miss them, but I have so many memories because they played part in my upbringing. From the minor things they did to the major, I remember everything. I have memories that will last a lifetime. I miss them, but I have no regrets. Just about everything I wanted to ask them in life I got a chance. So, make the most of today because it could be your last. Tell the ones’ how much you love them now, so it won’t follow you later.